Wonderfully Not Perfect

Bittersweet Visit

2011-10-17T08:57:00.000-07:00

My sister and her family came down for a visit this past weekend. I miss them all so much and we never get to see each other nearly enough. My niece and my son are both 2 years old. They are so joyful and hilarious when they get together. I could watch them for days just laughing and playing. Plus they tend to wear each other out and sleep pretty good by Saturday night! ha ha

My sister is about 7 and a half months pregnant. She's having another little girl around Christmas. I keep saying that Santa will be bringing me a new niece to spoil this year! heehee I can't wait and I am soooo happy for her.

They came down so that she could raid my baby stuff and get what she might need or did not have the first time around. Which means I spent a good chunk of the weekend packing up and getting rid of my baby stuff.... which is the bittersweet part.

You see I'd love to have another baby. I have 2 sisters and would not trade in my siblings for anything... even though we spent way too much time fighting and being annoyed at each other. They are still the two people who get it simply because they come from the same place. I want that for my son. I want him to know what its like. I don't know its still hard to verbalize why, it just is how I feel.

My husband on the other hand is more than happy with our family as is. We've had that discussion I've pleaded my case, he's explained his, again it is what it is. He's not going to change his mind. So I knew packing up and giving away the baby stuff make sense... and I love being able to help my sister and friends out. There's just still that little part of me that wants to cry a bit.... just a bit... but I suppose that is life and the Rolling Stones say "you don't always get what you want..."

Of course the funny thing is that my son would now tell you that it's not the Stones who say that... Its the Yo Dazzlerz on Yo Gabba Gabba! =)

So I will enjoy my son and take pleasure in what I do have. I will spoil both my nieces wickedly rotten, and remind myself that there are benefits to not having another child when my sister is exhausted and pulling her hair out with her two battling daughters! At least if they are anything like the 3 of us were for my poor mother!

Time for an update

2011-10-12T13:52:00.000-07:00

Wow I've been a bad blogger again. I keep saying I need to work on that, then life catches up and I slack off. Oh well, I will work on it! =)

So I happened to notice my profile picture today and it made me laugh. It is definitely time to update that since it is over 4 years old! The funny thing is that picture was taken about a month before my wedding and I was the thinnest I had ever been as an adult. That fancy white dress is an awesome motivator!

After the wedding I gained about 10 pounds.. then got pregnant and gained about 40! That was 2 years ago.

Today while looking at the picture I realized that I am back to that same size and shape.... and on my way to getting even smaller! Not only am I thinner, but I am working out regularly and eating healthy! My relationship with food and my weight have actually changed. So I may not loose that much more weight, but I know that I will at least go through this life healthier.... and even better is the knowledge that my son will learn from it!

I'll have to see if I have a better picture for you all, but now that life catching up thing is going off and I need to go and pick up my little bear from day care!

The little things in life...

2011-04-12T05:54:00.000-07:00

It may not seem like much, but as I type, the city is here re-opening my drive way! We had a slight water main break back on New Years Eve. They had to dig up the end of my driveway and apron. It has basically been a muddy, gravely mess since then. They poured the concrete last Tuesday and told us not to drive on it for at least a week.

Parking on the street is not the worst thing to complain about... I know, but man it will be nice to be able to pull up to the house again. No more trying to juggle too many bags in my hands, a crazy dog on a leash, and a toddler who wants to explore everything but getting into the car!

Ah, one part of my day is looking up. It's a little thing, but hey there is nothing wrong with celebrating the little things once in a while! =)

Ahhh Sunday...

2011-04-10T18:54:00.000-07:00

Today was a spectacular day, even if I did spend most of it on my hands and knees crawling around in dirt and mulch! It was well into the 80's today here in Chicagoland... which is unheard of for April. We haven't even made it to Easter yet! The hubs and I took advantage of the nice weather and decided to tackle some much needed yard work.

We moved into this house, which we lease, two November's ago with a 4 month old son. Needless to say, last year's yard work was just about getting the bare minimum done to keep our yard respectable and not get our landlords in trouble. This year I'm determined to clean up and spruce up the old house. It really is the ugliest house on our block. The roof needs to be replaced and the poor old gal is in a desperate need of new paint or siding. Again, we are only renting, so that's not my bill or decision to make.

I can at least make sure the flower beds are clean and pretty. So today we gutted the front flower beds and put down weed blocking fabric and all new mulch. I must say it does look nice, well at least 2/3rds of it looks nice. A toddler will only entertain himself for so long before he starts getting into trouble! We ran out of time and energy to get all the front done.

Not even Easter and I have my first sunburn of the year, and a very good start on the spring cleaning in the gardens.... definitely a good weekend! Must be why as I sit here tonight with the windows open as a wonderful breeze tickles my toes and my old muscles slightly ache, I have a very peaceful and content smile on my face. It was a very long and very cold winter, but it seems like we may have survived yet another.

I am a bread maker!

2011-04-06T13:12:00.000-07:00

Yes, little old me. I baked my first loaf of bread this past weekend.... and I must say it turned out great! Seriously, good bread. My lunch time turkey sandwiches are SO much better this week.

I have always been a member of the "what is the point of making bread when I can just as easily buy it at the store" camp... actually its easier to buy it the store. There are no dishes to wash after a trip to the store... no flour covered kitchen to clean up... no 7 minutes of kneading or 3 hours of proofing... nope just a trip to the store and you have bread for a week.

Oh, but that is so not the same type of bread... so not the same joy. Even the mess was well worth it and the kneading was therapeutic. I could definitely spend another Sunday afternoon making that mess... in fact, perhaps I will the next time I find myself sitting with nothing to do and looking for an adventure!

For those of you that care the recipe I used is from my go-to cook book: Better Homes and Gardens "New Cook Book". I have the 14th edition and I must say its a good basic recipe source with lots of hints and tips thrown in. I made the Whole Wheat Bread that is found on page 144 of my edition. I started to type up the recipe, but to tell the truth that seems like it might be part of their copyright infringement... so I figured I better do some more research first! =)

I went with the whole wheat, because that is the type of flour that I had. In order to get more whole wheat into everything I make, I use a 50/50 blend of all purpose flour and whole wheat flour. I buy a big bag of each and just pre-mix them when I get home into my big old flour canister. That way its there and ready to go when I need it. I have yet to run into a recipe that did like or even noticed the whole wheat mixed in!

Ummm, I could go for another slice of bread right now.....

Notes from Dr. Doom....

2011-04-06T07:00:00.000-07:00

Don't worry its not as ominous as it sounds. I had my annual check up on Monday with my wonderful OB/GYN. I know, fun day.... I must say though, that I have the best OB/GYN in the world. He got me through a down right awful pregnancy. Seriously, multiple hospital stays, weekly check-ups the whole time, for two months they had to feed me through a PIC line... the only way my baby and I were getting any nutrients was through an IV. So believe me when I say it was awful.

Dr. Doom (as I lovingly call him) was my hero. My husband was the one to actually give him the nick name. When ever I asked even a simple question, Dr. Doom was there to tell me in way too many details just what exactly could go wrong. The first appointment I had with him lasted all of 5 minutes... he walked into the room took one look at me and told me to get my butt to the ER because I was severely dehydrated.

Dr. Doom is all about the full truth all of the time. He has no problems telling you like it is and not sugar coating anything. It sounds scary and not at all what you would think you want to hear when pregnant, feeling miserable, and already scared out of your mind.... but to tell the truth it was exactly what I needed. I needed to be scared and to take this very complicated pregnancy even more seriously then normal. With the world laughing and telling me that's just just what being pregnant was, Dr. Doom was the one who was taking everything seriously and helping me. Hence the little bit of hero worship! =)

So, back to Monday's appointment... which like I said was just a routine annual check-up. In the 10 maybe 15 minuted that Dr. Doom was with me and doing his exam thing, he told me at least 6 times the following tidbit:

"It is very important to do monthly breast self exams. Breast Cancer is the leading cause of death in women aged 35-50, and the earlier we catch it the better our options are".

Which I think is something we all know; but don't really take to heart. Seriously, he told me 6 times. When Dr. Doom makes that big of a deal about something, I figure I better take note... and pass it along.

This is me taking note and working on a new habit. Per my "hero" you are to do your self exam 3-7 days after your period bleeding stops. Sweep with 3 fingers. The arm on the side your are checking should be bent at the elbow with your hand behind your head. This should be done both standing up and laying down.

New words!

2011-04-01T12:05:00.000-07:00

Last night I taught my son a new word. I've been so worried about the swearing and keeping that in check around him. In stead I corrupt him with talk about going to the bar! He was asking for Grandma (like he does constantly lately in a loop he just keeps asking for all 3 of his grandparents... who all live out of state so its not like I can even so OK let's go.... even if all I want to do is say that! ).

Any whol.... I told him it was month end and Grandma (who's job is insane at month end) was probably at the bar right now. This is what happens when you take cold medicine and try to talk to a toddler while making dinner!

Ten minutes later my son was asking his daddy to go to the Bar! Daddy brought him into to me and asked where did he learn that? Oops, bad mommy!

Don't worry Grandma... I told him you liked salad bars the best! Oh lord in heaven... the crazy thing is I only said the word once... I so need to get rid of this cold so I can think more clearly! I'm currently being out witted by a 19 month old! =)

Mr. Perfect.... my sister's version

2011-03-31T08:17:00.000-07:00

OK, so my 33 year old little sister just asked me a fully loaded question. I started to tell her what I really thought, but then decided that's not what she wanted to hear... just wanted me to understand and commiserate with her. I was a good big sister and did what she wanted.

The thing is its so frustrating sometimes. She is currently on a mission to find her Mr. Perfect. The problem is he does not exist. NO MAN can live up to her idea of a perfect mate. She has this picture in her head of what a perfect husband will look like. He will be smart, funny, passionate about art and life in general. He will have a bigger than life personality that will make her feel both important and special to be married to. She's not looking for a perfect mate, she's looking for some one to save her from her current life.... and therein lies the problem.

Even if she could find this ideal man, there's no way he alone can make her happy. SHE's the only one who can do that. He will bring joy and can even help her to find happiness... but she's the one who has to do it.

There is no Mr. Perfect out there... only a Mr. Just Right for ME... and most of the time, he's not the guy you were expecting him to be.

Maybe, if the time is right and my little sis is in the right mood, I might actually have the courage to tell her that!

Another round of colds

2011-03-30T09:26:00.000-07:00

Oh my goodness this has been one heck of a winter. Everyone told us that the first year that my son was in day care was going to be a killer with the germ invasion. I expected him to be sick, but not my husband and me. I'm one of those people that usually has at most one cold a winter... I think I'm going on cold 4 or 5... who knows they all just keep blending together.

My poor husband has had a nasty head cold for the last 2 weeks. He even went to the Dr without me having to nag him into it. Now its my turn I guess. Nothing like a completely stuffed up head, sore throat, and runny nose to make this already crazy week even more lovely!

The good news is that my depression cycle seems to be backing off a bit this week. Of course the busier I am the less time I have to think about things.... which helps. Plus I get to have a massage today, so I've had something to look forward to... and yes I am going even with my cold!

Time to get real....

2011-03-25T12:39:00.000-07:00

I am a horrible blogger. Seriously, i have these great ideas and goals, but nothing ever comes out of them. I never seem to be able to put this poor, neglected blog at the beginning of my "to-do list". Not that I have even been organized enough lately to make a to do list...

In any case, one of the problems I think that I have been having is that I am not really being me on this thing. I'm trying to present some made-up ideal of who I want everyone to think I am.... who I want to be, rather than just being honest and accepting the me I am.

I am in some desperate need of some serious inspiration in my life. I've been depressed and run down for the last few months. There is a little voice in my head that keeps telling me I already have everything that I need to be happy... and I am desperately trying to ignore her. If I already have everything I need then my depression is on me.... and I'll have to do something about it. Seems much easier and a way lot less work to try to live in ignorance.

But that's not who I am either. I'm a problem solver. I thrive on finding solutions when no one else can. Not to mention the fact that my husband and son deserve so much more than a wife and partner who is not even trying any more. Heck, I deserve so much more.

So here it is, the new me.... maybe being more honest here will be a jumping off point for the rest of the parts of my life!

ps - spell check found no misspellings the first time through.... maybe things are a' changing! haha

Changing Plans….

2010-10-05T11:51:00.000-07:00

Today is my 2nd wedding anniversary. As I sit here and ponder this new life, I have to chuckle a bit.

I was never one of those little girls who dreamed of her wedding one day. It never occurred to me as a child. I dreamed of having a job, going away to college, maybe living in a big city; but never of this life or that big white dress.

Then I met my husband, and everything changed. All of a sudden I knew I was meant to be his wife and we were meant to be a family. It was actually a little bizarre at the time. I remember thinking to myself that I was falling hard for this new guy, but being scared. For the first time I realized that letting myself love and be loved meant giving up all my old dreams. Well maybe not giving up, but definitely re-writing.

The funny thing is he never wanted to get married. He said to me again and again that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, but for some unexplained reason I needed it to be “official”. So he finally popped the question. Of course once engaged he was going to go all out with the wedding. I tried to talk him into eloping somewhere… just having it be our immediate family and nothing fancy. Ah changing dreams….

Two years ago today we stood in front of 150 of our closest friends and family and had the full shindig… big white dress and all. I would not trade it in for anything in the world!

To my wonderful hubby – thanks for being you and letting me be me… for making me get that big dress… for loving me no matter what… for dragging me all across this country… for letting me get the crazy dog… for our beautiful son and for our even better than I could have imagined life!

Friday Weigh In

2010-09-24T05:48:00.000-07:00

Well another week down and another weigh in. I ate well this past week and exercised every day, but I did not log points once all week. Plus I have candy corn in the house... which means I sneak a mini handful at least twice a day! This week's numbers are as follows:

Current Weight = 206.4
Weekly Change = 0.0
Total Weight Change = -25.4

I guess the good thing is that I stayed the same. The bad thing is that I am so not motivated to do anything different. I have a goal and I am still only half way there, but at the same time I can't seem to make any more significant changes. The tired part of my brain keeps whispering that 25 pounds in one year is enough..... but that is a slippery slope I am trying not to fall down!!!

WorkOut Notes

2010-09-23T06:06:00.000-07:00

I have to give a shout out to my new favorite work out video… and I am so not a person who does the work out video thing. I’m more of a go to a class so that I have an instructor there to keep me honest kind of girl.

Ever since my c-section last year, my core has been in sad, sad shape. Even taking a yoga class twice a week for the last 4 months has only done minimal help. My theory is that my core has been so weak that all my other muscles have gotten all too good at compensating. So even though I thought I was working on core strength, I was really just getting by: meaning that my hips and back have still been hurting… even with losing 25 pounds and exercising just about every day.

This past weekend I decided I needed a new plan. While wandering around Meijer’s doing my normal grocery shopping on Saturday, I picked up the “Core Fusion PilatesPlus” DVD from Exhale. I’ve only done the work out twice, and really only 3 of the segments; but I have to say I like it already.

The best part is that the DVD is broken into 5 10-minute work outs. You can run the whole thing or just pick and choose. Since I don’t have time to do a 50 minute workout, I’ve been doing the last 3 segments. Even after the first day, I noticed a difference. Plus it has just made me so much more aware of my core. I now keep it tight and working all throughout the day. My hips and back are starting to like it too! =)

The work outs are challenging, but doable. They make sure to give you advanced and beginning moves through out, as well as reminding you on proper form and what you should be doing to achieve the best results. The pace is good and I’ve worked up a sweat every time.

A quick online search today found Exhale’s website. They have spa and classes in many locations. I have never visited any, so I cannot speak to how they are. Here is their website so you can check out more info on the DVD and core fusion program: http://www.exhalespa.com

This and That...

2010-09-16T06:31:00.000-07:00

Hi All -

It's been kind of hectic around my homestead lately. Nothing much to report, just one of those times when there's always something that needs to be done. Of course a nice round of fall colds that we all are sharing is not helping the matter! At least it has been fairly minor and the hubby and I seem to have coordinated our sick days well and not both been down at the same time!

I thought I would share a few odds and ends that I have been collecting lately....

While flipping through the Sept 2010 issue of Better Homes and Gardens, I spotted a quick little blurb on "Safe Plastics". Since having my little one I am always on the look out for help in identifying which plastics I can use for what, specially when it comes to food storage. The article pointed out that you can use the Recycle Code on the plastic as a general guide: "Those labeled 1, 2, 4, and 5 are safer; 3, 6, and 7 less safe". Thanks BHG!!!! www.bhg.com

Also, while on vacation in Traverse City MI I found two very cool stores... which have websites! yea!!! The first one is the NEST of Grand Traverse. It has cool, traditional and funky house hold stuff as well as gift ideas. I love the coffee mug towers! Check them out at www.NESTofGrandTraverse.com.

The second shop is Holiday Traditions inc. Again what I would describe as household decorating stuff and gifts. I got my niece an adorable elephant doll for Christmas. Don't let the name fool you though... when they say Holiday, they mean all of them year round... not just the December one! Their website is www.HolidayTraditionsTC.com.

Hope you all enjoy these as much as I do! =)

Friday Weigh In

2010-09-10T05:32:00.000-07:00

My sister and I have been doing a Fitness Challenge this year. We decided it was time to finally get serious about our over all health and weight issues. We both joined Weight Watchers and have been counting points and motivating each other since January. Friday morning we do our weigh ins.... so here are my numbers for today:

Current Weight = 206.8
Weekly Change = -3
Total Weight Change = -25

I've been slacking for the last month and a half and finally got myself back on track this week... hence the big loss. Now I just have to keep it up! =)

Picture frame gift

2010-09-10T05:20:00.000-07:00

Here is a great idea for a quick and easy gift. I am lucky these days and always have the fall back of giving adorable pictures of my son to all those people in our lives who you never know what to give them as gifts. You know the type... great aunts and great grand parents. They rarely want anything or need anything... but I always feel like I should still get them something small at least for birthdays or what nots.

In any case, the boring picture frames were getting old... and the fancy ones are just too expesive. So I bought a nice cheap frame and dug through my scrapbooking stuff.... applied a little creativity and here you go.... a personalize picture frame that my son's Great Auntie LOVED!

DB's birthday wagon

2010-09-07T06:13:00.000-07:00

Last week was also my son's 1st birthday. We had a big party with all the family. DB loved his cake, but of course I did not get any good pictures! I'm sure his Aunties did though and I have sent out a call to them!

Here's the best one I have. DB enjoying a wagon ride with all his balloons! I can't believe he is a year old already!

Green lake

2010-09-07T06:11:00.000-07:00

Hi All... back from Vacation last week. I tried to post this from my cell phone, but I don't seem to be that technologically advanced yet! ha ha This was my view last Monday morning, sitting with my son snoozing on my lap. Oh what I would not give to be back there right now.

The only saving grace is that it is at least Tuesday today! Back to reality, I guess... but I still have my day dreams! =)

My sister and the Cariologist

2010-08-26T07:20:00.001-07:00

My little sister has to go to the Cardiologist today. The whole thing seems kind of weird. She's my baby sister, she's not suppose to be dealing with this stuff yet. She's only 32!

They think she had some sort of episode this weekend. Episode... that's a kind of funny euphemism... but even now I don't want to call it what it probably really was! She blew it off as just a bad reaction to food, but with her high blood pressure and our family history of heart problems... I told her to call her Dr just in case. Thank god she did! Now we get to wait and see what the new Dr will find.

Just another reminder to us all that we only have this one body, and its always better to be extra careful with it!

Of course the funny thing is that even today, she would yell at me for calling her "my LITTLE" sister. ha ha She said she outgrew that tag a long time ago. I keep telling her she will always be my little sister... no matter how much she grows!

Here we go again....

2010-08-25T07:23:00.000-07:00

Its been a while since I posted anything. I view this blog as my outlet to express myself in what ever manner I may need. The past year and a half has been a fun adventure. I had a baby! A wonderful little boy who I can't believe is turning ONE this weekend. Oh my goodness where does time go?

In any case... I think its time to get my goals, hopes, dreams... and what ifs back on track. That is what I hope this blog will help me do. Of course this is only the first step of many to come.... but I am looking forward to the journey!

Update Week 15

2009-03-12T12:35:00.000-07:00

I have not been a very good blogger lately. This pregnancy thing is a killer. February ended with me spending 5 days in the hospital. They finally decided to put in a PICC line so that I can get fluids and nutrients 24 hours a day at home. I now have a red back pack permanently attached to me.

The good news is that I'm at 15 weeks now and the fluids and nutrients seem to be helping. Last week I even gained back some of the weight that I had lost. Plus we went to a high risk OB this week and he said that everything looks great with the baby. It is sizing exactly where it should be. Which is good news all around.

I'm still pretty tired and by the time I finish work for the day don't have much energy to do much of anything.... but I am getting stronger day by day.

Long Time, I know

2009-02-10T07:15:00.001-08:00

Its been a while since I've had the energy, strength and drive to even sit up and type much more than what work demands. I'm sorry for the absence, but at least I have a good excuse.

I'm pregnant! Just found out over a month ago. Its been a crazy month. Apparently god awful morning sickness runs in my family. Funny how the mom and grandma never mentioned that all those times they were hinting about grand kids and great grand kids. I've been pretty much sick since I found out. Actually before I found out. That was the tip off. I woke up one Saturday morning and felt like throwing up. I thought maybe I just needed to eat something... but it never went away. Has never gone away yet. Morning Sickness, what a joke, it should be day and night sickness!

Its been 3 trips to the ER for fluids. The last time last week and they kept me for 2 and a half days. At least the tide seems to be changing. I'm finally managing to eat some real food and even drinking water.... which is a huge improvement over this time last week.

So I'm almost 11 weeks along. I'm hoping and hoping that once I clear that 14th week the queasiness will at least go away. It will be nice to be able to get up and do something for myself once in a while!

Some one explain this to me... please

2009-01-13T08:27:00.000-08:00

I must admit working from I tend to watch my neighbors a lot during the day. I mean I work and they are a good distraction. In any case my neighbor across the street always makes me laugh. She is very nice and all of that, but the way she handles snow is quite entertaining. I probably need more challenging work...

In any case today I am stumped. She just finished sweeping her shrubs. I mean with a broom, knocking all the snow off of her bushes. Why on earth would you worry about snow covered evergreens? The snow kind of makes them prettier.

Let me further elaborate by saying that the snow we have out there right now, although there is like 6 inches of it, is extremely light and powdery. So its not like the she has to worry about branches being weighed down or broken. Oh and her shrubs are very nice little compact ones, that I again don't think she has to worry about. The best part to is that it is literally like 10 degrees outside not including the wind chill. Really. can't the shrubs just stay snow covered?

Perhaps she knows something I do not. Perhaps we will be having a meeting of the Knights Who Say Ni on the street. Oh no, I hope my shrubbery is up to their high standards! =)

Monday Weigh In

2009-01-12T04:50:00.000-08:00

I've lost my first 5 pounds! woo-who!

This week's weight = 204.8
Loss of 1.8

Total Loss so far = 5.6!!!

That's a good way to start off a Monday!

Nothing like a nap...

2009-01-07T17:59:00.001-08:00

after a lousy work day. Add in one puppy and a cozy blankie and life is not nearly as bad as it seemed 20 minutes earlier!

Don't you wish you could sleep as soundly as this... in the middle of the afternoon with the tv on:

Rita's First Christmas!

2009-01-07T17:52:00.000-08:00

My puppy Rita was spoiled rotten this year for Christmas. Auntie Heidi got her this sweet pink rain coat.

Her great-grandma made the blue sweater she is modeling below:

Mommy and Daddy got her the biggest bone ever,

and grandpa got her the antlers, shown here with her auntie heidi:

I think she is happy to have the holidays finally be over with!

Is it Friday yet?

2009-01-07T12:19:00.000-08:00

Its been one of those work days today. I've not exactly felt bad all day, but I've not exactly felt great either. My recurring heartburn seems to be back. It had been a couple of weeks since the last run. The odd thing is that I have not changed what I have eaten all week. Kind of odd.

Plus work has been boring the pants off of me lately. I've been trying really hard this new year to keep busy and make the most of my job. I should be happy that I at least have one, and not take it for granted... all that jazz. The new attitude is so not working today with my body protesting all day long.

To top it off I literally have finished all the work on my desk... and I still have 45 minutes to kill. I suppose a diligent worker would use that time to research some new products or figure out a new time saving way to do something.... today all I can come up with is playing tug-o-war with my puppy and trying very hard not to think of my bed that is just 15 steps down the hall! Sometimes working from home is actually harder. If I was in the office at least I would have coworkers to talk to and my bed would not be so tempting!

Monday Weigh In

2009-01-05T05:45:00.000-08:00

Monday are my weight logging days. Let's hope they all go as well as this morning did! I am a bit of a dork when it comes to weighing myself. I always do it in my birthday suit so that the like 3 pounds of clothes are not counted. Plus you have to do it first thing in the morning when you have nothing in your stomach. Who wants any extra ounces when its time to log that awful number?

In any case.... this morning's weight is 206.6! That's a loss of 3.8 pounds. Not bad for the first week.

Oh and yes, I have a digital scale that gives my weight in tenths of a pound. I had to go digital. If I use the old fashion scales I tend to cheat and move the stupid thing around to a point on the floor where I'm the lightest! That does not work on this fancy digital one. Some thing's gotta keep me honest!

Happy New Year!

2009-01-02T11:45:00.000-08:00

I've been lax and lazy really when it comes to this blog lately. Sorry for that. One of my resolutions this year is to be better at posting. The others are to do more of the stuff I like and want.... like crafting stuff. I spent an hour yesterday and finally started the wedding scrapbook!

The big resolution this year though is to lose weight. Well more than just the weight, I want to be healthier. I would some day like to have a family that includes more than just my hubby and puppy, which means both that I should get my body is good shape for that... and also that I should instill the good habits in me, so that I don't pass the bad ones on. Heck even puppy gained weight over this holiday season!

So I have joined Weight Watchers (WW) Online. I never bought into the WW thing... since I know losing weight is all about just counting calories and burning more than you consume. Last year when I lost 20 pounds for the wedding I just used eDiets online thing... which is a pared down online calorie counter. I'm still a little bored with the calorie counting thing... so I figured I would use the dressed up Points System that WW offers. I know its the same thing, but with WW being so popular, its easier to find food and restaurants that already have the points calculated.

I started the diet on Monday. I figured why spend a week shoving as much food as possible into my mouth and start even further in the whole today! Weigh ins are on Monday. I'll make it a point to post my journey... if nothing else but to be a motivation for me!

I know at least one puppy getting coal this year!

2008-12-08T14:19:00.000-08:00

Last week I finally got around to making puppy a Christmas Stocking. I know, I need help... but if hubby and I each had one, it is only fair. I even had enough of the same material left that I used last year... so all three match!

Today I ran out to get a new outfit for my work holiday party this week. Working from home, my work clothes are pretty sad... in any case, puppy was left alone in the house. Normally this is not an issue. This time however, she was a very bad puppy. I have the cutest little fake squirrel that I put at the bottom of my LA Palm Christmas Tree. I have this tree set up in my office this year. Here is a picture of the tree in our Cally house last year.... note the squirrel way at the bottom......

Here is what my cute little squirrel looks like now......

The back of his skull is half eaten and his tail is only hanging on by a thread. My dog is so getting coal in that stocking this year!

Busy Bee...

2008-12-08T05:19:00.001-08:00

My family is coming down for a holiday weekend visit... both my side and my in-laws. Its going to make for a house full of people and hopefully a fun time.

I am however in full prep mode. Every time I sit down to try to post something, I think of something else that needs to be done. This weekend was cookie baking weekend. I made Peanut Butter Dark Chocolate Chips on Friday. Saturday was Oatmeal Cranberry White Chocolate chips and Triple Ginger Snaps. Then on Sunday it was a loaf of Banana Orange Cranberry Walnut bread, inside out Almond Joys, and Spritz cookies.

I had to laugh with the spritz cookies. Normally I use the wreath and tree patterns with my press, but I seem to have lost the wreath one. I did not want all trees, that is dull, so I went digging in my pattern and tip jar. Really I should say my mom's old pattern and tip jar.

She gave up on baking cookies a while ago and I inherited the jar and press. In the bottom of the jar I found the perfect new pattern. A puppy dog! Funny how all these years I never even noticed that one. I've turned into a dog person. Heaven help me. heehee Here's how they turned out.. oh and they are just as yummy as they look!

Time....

2008-12-05T07:12:00.000-08:00

Its only Dec 5th and I'm already behind. I need more time. All day long I work and work and then I get to get off of work and just start the house work. I work and work around the house and yet the list never gets smaller. I'm not getting any closer to the me I want to be because I just don't have time to figure anything out.

God I hope January is better and I can actually carve out some time to maybe work in the great craft room I have been putting together... or even post a few decent entries to this blog that don't just entail me re-capping a day or sharing something cute the dog did.

I don't even have kids and I can't even find time to do what I want to do.... I think I need help... but to tell the truth I don't even know where to start!

OK and seriously, why can't I learn how to spell BECAUSE? 33 years old.. I should be able to learn that one. Seriously.... every time I spell it wrong. Even Hubby noticed it since I don't spell check my emails to him.

Gotta love the flu

2008-12-02T07:08:00.000-08:00

I was sick yesterday.... boy was I sick. Nothing like spending the day laying on the couch only getting up to throw up or let your poor dog outside. Granted it snowed here yesterday too and my poor dog likes to get her rope tangled up. SO letting the dog outside consists of bundling myself up and then dragging myself outside and down the flight of stairs on the deck to free the puppy who has wound her lead around god knows how many shrubs. Not exactly fun when the earth is spinning way worse than normal. I resorted to actually just letting her on the deck and hoping she would pee there.... but of course my puppy is too well trained for that! What was I thinking training her like that.

At least today, although still weak, I'm actually sitting up and working... not to mention not puking any more. Sleep still sounds better than work... but I'm running out of days off!

I guess I should be happy that I did not get sick until after the holiday weekend. We had a pretty good time. My sister had the big thanksgiving dinner and an even bigger surprise for us when we got there. They are expecting their first child.... actually our first kid in the family. My mom was thrilled that she is finally going to be a grandma. I can't believe I'll be an aunt! My sister on the other hand is sick as a dog. Well actually I guess she is sick as an expectant mother. Turns out god awful morning sickness pretty much runs in the family. Kind of makes me want to go and stock up on the birth control specially after one day of the flu yesterday!

How can I be mad when its so cute!

2008-11-24T18:44:00.000-08:00

Puppy has a thing for shoes. She does not chew them, well except for the occasional shoe lace, but she has not ruined any yet. I know its only a matter of time. She only gathers them when left alone. I think they smell like us and she just wants us close to her. Its kind of endearing... but not really a habit I'd like her to keep.

I work from home and Puppy pretty much sits on the couch in front of the window either sleeping or watching the comings and goings on the street. Usually about every hour or 30 mins or so she will come into the office and make sure I am still there. It had been a while since she came and checked in on me, so I went and made sure she was not into anything she's not suppose to be in. As I rounded the corner I noticed the top of one of my boots on the couch. I was about to scold puppy and tell her no when I noticed it was not just one boot, but both.... and she had them lined up so perfectly. How could I yell at my little puppy's organizational skills!

Gotta love the holidays...

2008-11-24T17:26:00.000-08:00

Man life has gotten a little hectic again. At least its not too crazy. Puppy and I are currently laying on the couch taking a break. Its been a long day. She's been helping me mix up cookie batter tonight. Well helping if you call being underfoot and licking up all the flour I spill helping.

I'm putting all the bake ware that I got for the wedding to work this year and making tons of Christmas cookies. Since I'm rapidly running out of time I figured I would mix up and freeze what I can. Oh and plus I made my sister some triple ginger cookies for hosting thanksgiving this weekend. Shoot, I was suppose to take a picture of them all boxed up. Oops... Guess you all will have to use your imagination. =)

I also had to finish up my invites for our family holiday weekend. We are having our family down in December for a holiday dinner. I figured we could make them drive to us one of these times! Not to mention I had 2 birthday gifts to wrap and a wedding gift. I swear I am going to have at least 3 bags for our 3 day thanksgiving trip up north to Michigan. Oh wait... that's not even counting Puppy's bag. Its probably a good thing we are taking the pickup truck. I don't think it would all fit in my jeep.

Well, I've still got gifts to wrap. One of the ladies at work always organizes gift tags for the Goodfellows. I'm not sure if that is a local Detroit thing or not. They basically help under privileged kids. Each tag is for a kid. I got two of them this year. Two boys.... Hubby was pretty funny. Apparently I have no idea what boys would like... go figure!

Guess I should stop rambling and procrastinating and get to it. Tomorrow I get to work all day and then make stuffing, pack, clean the house some, and god knows what else. My puppy is out cold all curled up next to me. It would be so unfair to get up and disturb her.. maybe those toys can wait a little longer to be wrapped...

I still have my job, and that is a good thing.

2008-11-20T08:15:00.000-08:00

We have been in limbo at work for the last couple of days. On Tuesday our CEO sent a lovely email to everyone telling us that staff cuts are needed in order to cut our expenses. He said that they should be done with the cuts by the end of the week. So we have all been on pins and needles worrying about it for the last two days. Note to any CEO in this position... just make the announcement when you are ready to actually lay the people off. Don't leave your employees hanging like that. Its not nice.

They finally announced the lay offs this morning. My Boss and I are the only ones in my group who work remotely. So my one friend sent me an email at like 9 saying that Boss was in the office and was going to talk to us all in a few mins. So then I'm sitting there for like 20 mins figuring they were in their meeting and wondering why he did not conference me in. Let me just say I was getting nervous. Then my phone rings and its Boss, not on his work phone, but on his cell phone. SO he wants to have a private conversation. Man my heart sank. He was just calling to keep me in the loop. Thank god!

We did lose one of the girls on Boss's other team, not any of the ones I work with regularly or know very well, but its still going to be quite an adjustment. I pray that she will be able to recover and it will all work out for her... though I know times are not exactly getting any better any time soon. So we will all probably have some shuffling and re-org stuff to deal with... but not as bad as the poor girl who is now unemployed.... and the others I have yet to hear about.

arrrgggghhhhhh!

2008-11-19T06:29:00.000-08:00

OK I totally just typed a lovely, witty, and humorous update post...... just to have it lost when I hit the publish post button.

So not in the mood to re-type it.... I am at work and as I said in my clever lost post, my boss does not pay me to blog... but how cool would that be if he did?

I will however promise to catch up later this afternoon... if the computer survives that long!

Puppy's trip to the salon

2008-11-12T13:36:00.000-08:00

I know I'm a dork.... but my puppy went to the groomers yesterday and got her hair and nails done. I even bought her a new shirt to wear in the house to keep her warm. She has a very short coat and no body fat to keep her warm. So its not just for the fashion statement! haha

Check out her nails.. they painted them pink to match the new outfit! How cute! Hubby said I had to get a pic of her with her coat on too... Puppy has her hair and nails done and is all dressed up to hit the town!

Too bad the "town" consists of her going in the back yard to do her business! =)

Lesson for Today

2008-11-10T14:35:00.000-08:00

If you see an odd brown spot on your carpet, DO NOT rub your fingers in it to see what it is. Just go and get the carpet cleaner.

Actually I guess I learned two lessons today - dogs are not always that great at being able to avoid their own piles of poop, especially when you have a dog who runs around like the devil is chasing her and loving every minute of it. I guess I just always assumed they would have an built in sense to at least keep out of their own old piles of poop. Hey, there's another lesson: mommy and daddy dog owner should be better at picking up the pile in the back yard.

Any ways, back to the carpet.... I turn around and notice this weird spot. Since puppy is fully house trained and had not had an accident in a while... I was wondering what the heck I spilled and when. So there I was rubbing my finger in it and then smelling. Oh yeah it was poop. So then I was all ewwww when I looked at the rest of the carpet. There was a nice little foot path from the back door all through the dining room and living room ending ( or course ) on the couch.

All I have to say is thank goodness for the Bissel Little Green Machine. It does work wonders on both carpet and upholstery! Puppy and I are now learning a new trick. Its called "Sit and Stay on the door mat until I can check your feet!" I have a feeling my dog thinks that I have finally and completely lost my mind!

I'll never understand...

2008-11-10T13:05:00.000-08:00

Every time I scroll down this blog and see those pictures of me on my honeymoon it kind of shocks me. I guess its actually seeing how I look. You know how we all have way better pictures in our heads of what we look like than what we actually do look like. I feel like I'm 20 pounds lighter than I look in those pictures. I know, it does not really matter... but still... it shocks me.

You would think it would shock me into finally re-starting that diet and losing those last 20 (ha, ok more like 40) pounds... no its really just pushing me further into that apple pie I baked this weekend and the Halloween candy that we still have left over. So not a good thing! Perhaps I will have a yogurt first... that's got to be better than polishing off half an apple pie! heehee Oh and the rest of the candy is going to work with hubby tomorrow!

2008-11-09T06:16:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to share a really cool idea from Lotta over at her Mom-O-Matic blog. I hope everyone reads Lotta musing over raising kids and life in general. She's great and has a terrific idea to help easy the Christmas pain some of us may be feeling this year! Let her know if there is anything you can do to help with the give aways!

http://mom-o-matic.blogspot.com/2008/11/hunting-and-gathering.html#links

Honeymoon Pictures - Maui

2008-11-09T06:01:00.001-08:00

Most of these pictures are from our drive on the road to Hanna. Maui is a really pretty island. Most of it is filled with locals. There is a resort area.. but Hubby and I only stayed there for one night. We drove around the entire island. There are some beautiful spots. I had to laugh because it seemed like every 15 mins I was saying "oh look how pretty". Hubby just kept saying "yep".

The best part of the island though was spending time with Hubby's cousin. He's lived on Maui for some time now. Since hubby is an only child, it was fun hanging out with them and hearing all their little kid stories. Plus my new cousin is a fun guy. Easy going and kind. I forgot my camera though that day... so no pictures. We did go on a great hike. I kept teasing Cousin that he was trying to kill off Hubby's old lady already. It was quite an adventurous hike through a "rain forest" looking for a swimming hole. We finally did find the swimming hole and the boys had fun jumping off the rocks. I just walked in and tried not to scream each time a minnow nibbled at my toes! I'm not exactly the adventurous girl! =)

Wedding Pictures

2008-11-05T14:07:00.000-08:00

I don't have too many pictures of the wedding on my computer. Most of them are hard copies people have given me, but here is what I do have.....

Me and Sweetie waiting for the ceremony to start

Ceremony Spot... The weather could really not have been any better. It was chilly taking our pictures early... but by the time we got out there to make our vows it was perfectly warm and beautiful!

The cake.... there was also a groom's cake, but since it was a surprise for my groom they did not put it out until we were walking down the isle.

The reception hall. The guys ended up running around and setting up all the center pieces. They did a pretty good job!

Here are our place cards... they were apples.

Here my new hubby and I are opening a gift from my sister and her hubby. They gave us a cute "just married" tote bag to take on our honeymoon and some luggage tags. The bag was a hit everywhere we went!

as promissed...

2008-11-01T12:38:00.000-07:00

here's my new hair and puppy's halloween costume.....

Maybe its the new hair...

2008-10-31T10:08:00.000-07:00

This afternoon on my normal lunch time dog walk, I actually stepped outside of my comfort zone. It feels kind of good. Silly too for not doing it sooner. My one neighbor across the street was out with her dog and two lovely daughters. They were all running around and playing. Since puppy has been dying to meet their dog, I decided I would take the initative and go introduce ourselves.

Normally I think that I should do stuff like that, but usually talk myself out of it becuase I don't want to be a pain or intrude. When really I think its more like I don't think I'm worth their time, or I don't think I'll be interesting enough, or I don't look good enough... blah blah... basically me and my self worth issues getting in my way.

Today I don't know what it was, I just said to suck it up and go with my first instinct. The one that wants to be out going and approachable. The one who likes knowing her neighbors and does not mind if they want to come over to chit-chat. I'm slowly learning nothing ventured is nothing gained. I did not think or over analyze. I just said screw it and went to meet the cute neighbor family. They were very nice and sweet too.

Perhaps its the new hair. I feel brave and a little funky. The scared and sad girl is still there, but I don't know, maybe now the real me is a little closer to the surface. Who knew all that hair was holding soo much baggage?

mixed feelings day

2008-10-30T10:34:00.001-07:00

Man I am all over the place today. Part of me wants to cry, part wants to dance, part is anxious, and another part can't wait for the next thing. My hormones being all over the place this week too probably is not helping.

Last night I got a hair cut. Well, really I got them all cut. hardee-ha-ha I had a lot cut off. No more safe and simple ponytail for me. No more taking comfort in the fact that even for dress up days I can make a fancy ponytail. My hair with all its imperfections are out there for the world to see. This is actually quite a big deal for me. For the first time in years I am determined to accept my hair and go with it. So it flips out and curls goofy. So its thick and full and never lays symmetrically on my head. One side will curl under and the other will flip out. SO BE IT! Here I am world with my crazy imperfect hair!

I have to say I do like the cut. I'm still getting use to the styling of it... but today I just washed and let it air dry.. which it actually did. The long hair would only reach full dryness sometime while I slept that night, after washing it in the morning mind you....

Although at the same time that I am loving the new freedom of just letting my hair be and not trying to always have perfect hair... I am also missing that ponytail. I miss having it to play with. I miss the idea of being able to do so much more with my hair.. but telling myself I was just choosing not to. I miss my hair. Its kind of weird, but I guess its just the simple truth.

I suppose I will try to remind my self why I was so ready to chop it off... the knots in it, the constant shedding all over my house ( I swear there is more of my hair than dog fur on my couch ), the bulk of it always being every where.. and of course that god forsaken boring ass ponytail!

Ok, missing it a little less. I like the new freedom and I have faith I will even grow to appreciate the crazy imperfect curls. Although I suppose I have more work. I must confess that I tried to take a couple "self portraits" but thought my hair was a disaster area and I looked like crap in all of them.... still working on accepting that wonderfully not perfect life thing.... its getting there, maybe next week when the hormones calm down I'll be ready for that picture!

My puppy is growing up

2008-10-29T05:55:00.000-07:00

My little girl is becoming such a big girl. We've been working with puppy since we got back from the honeymoon on letting her have more freedom in the house. I must say she is passing with flying colors. She's hyper and crazy, but adorable and trustworthy at the same time. Sure she jumps up and plays with us, but when left alone she mostly just sleeps on the couch. She's allowed on all the furniture except the bed. So the couch is good.

When I'm working she politely comes in and noses my knee when she wants to go out... or she paws the doors. I'm still working on breaking that one. Pawing the glass sliding door in the winter is not a problem... the screen door does not stand up as well though in the summer. Of course I've had a couple phone conversations interrupted with a barking dog, but for the most part they were work people who I don't have to worry about! =)

I can't believe that after all these months of watching and worrying my little puppy is finally house broken. She even sleeps all night on her own in her own bed. If I think about it tonight I'll try to get a picture. She's so cute all curled up in her bed with her blankie. Heck, usually she's the last one out of bed in the morning. I guess the teenage years have begun! She's sleeping late and would rather do her own thing than hang out with mom and dad. haha Well, she still does like a good cuddle in the evening before bed.. so maybe we are just in the early pre-teen. There is still a bit of my little puppy in her! Thank god!

Birthday Suprise for my hubby

2008-10-25T13:15:00.000-07:00

A few years ago my mom gave me a nice watch. I loved this watch. One of those Citizen Eco drives. It never needs a battery. All broken in and I'm use to the profile. I'm clumsy, so watched take a beating with me. This watch has held up wonderfully.

I could not find the watch after the move from LA. The watch I love. I have been so bummed about losing, but figured I would not really freak out until I had actually unpacked everything.

I finally got the dresser cleaned off this morning and found my watch.. in my jewelry box, which is funny because both me and hubby looking in there. I triumphantly go out to the living room to tell hubby I had finally found my watch. He gives me a funny look and finally says, damn. The poor guy had gone shopping last night for my birthday present. He bought me the same watch for a replacement. I was laughing and told him we can return the new one. He said it was not fair though because he won't get the bonus points now for being such a good and thoughtful husband. I told him he still gets the bonus points. Besides, I've been saying all along I would find the watch as soon as I bought a new one! heehee

Although now the poor guy feels like he has to start all over again with the b-day gift for me. I keep telling him not to worry but I know he will until he finds another perfect gift.... I am a pretty lucky girl sometimes!

Cookie baking night

2008-10-24T18:19:00.000-07:00

Its my twin sister's and her husband's birthday next week. Since my brother-in-law loves treats of any kind, I decided to send some chocolate chip cookies his way. Its been a long week. I'm still trying to get settled in. I was suppose to bake them on wednesday, which got pushed back to thursday... considering our b-day is on monday, my sister's gift is going to be late. At least my bro-in-law might still get his on time! =)

The cookies turned out pretty good. I finally got to use some of the new baking gear from my shower and wedding. Most is pretty good. I have to say though the cookie scoop from Martha Stewart sucks. Normally I trust Martha's products. Say what you will about her, but her perfectionist ways usually translate to pretty good quality crap that she sells. I must say the cookie scoop does not live up to my standards... and I would be willing to bet my standards are way less than Martha's would be if she actually used the cookie scoop she is selling. It kept getting stuck and would not clear out the cookie dough.

So next time you are baking cookies, don't fall for the popular opinion that seems to be all over the place today. Homemade cookies are suppose to be irregular and imperfect. If you want perfectly sized and uniform cookies, just get the chips ahoys! =)

So I ditched the scoop. 5 of the cookies in my picture are my old fashion style of just using a spoon from my normal silver wear. Can you pick them out? I bet they will be the best tasting ones too!

Time Flies...

2008-10-22T10:50:00.000-07:00

Oh my goodness, I can't believe its been almost a month since my last post. Then again, it has been quite the month.

My sweetie, although still sweet, is now also my husband. It still makes me giggle to call him that. He of course calls me his old lady. I don't think he has even once said wife to me. Its his term of endearment... I try not to focus on the old part! haha

The wedding was wonderful. Crazy before hand, but once we got to the big event I just put everything in auto pilot and left it up to my attendants. Apparently making the boys get to the hall early was a good idea. They were the ones who ran around and got all the center pieces and candles taken care of. =)

Everyone kept saying what a great party it was. I was happy. I was so worried no one would enjoy themselves. The weather was great, our vows ( which took more than a few days and some fights ) were a huge hit, the food was awesome, the DJ rocked, and the hall was beautiful. I really could not ask for a better day. I promise to post some pictures at some time. I'm still trying to get back into this real world thing!

The honeymoon was just as cool too. We spent a week in Hawaii. Four days bouncing around Maui and 3 days on Oahu. It was so nice to not have anything to do but enjoy ourselves. Seriously, it was relaxing and funny. I'll have to fill you all in on our hotel choices and recommendations in the next few days.

Unfortunately, while hubby and I were enjoying paradise, my Aunt passed away. She has been battling Pancreatic Cancer for some time now. The Drs told her the day before my sister's wedding in June that there was nothing else they could do. I was hoping for some more time, so that she could at least enjoy my wedding, but I suppose that was not in the cards. I take comfort in the fact that she went fairly quick and her suffering is now over. I was pretty sheltered from the day to day survival my mom and grandma have been dealing with for the past few months. At least they can now try to get back to a normal life.

My aunt was a great person. She loved me and my sisters like her own. All her friends at her wake knew us and all our stories. She will be missed terribly. Every year for thanksgiving, the woman baked at least 30 pumpkin pies. She was the pumpkin pie lady.... as we get closer to Turkey day... I'll dig out her recipe and share it. I promise!

So now I am back to reality. Trying to still get the new house unpacked, get caught up with 2 weeks worth of missed work, remembering to use my new name, and train my poor puppy to re-learn her invisible fence boundaries. I thought life was suppose to slow down now that the wedding was done! Someone forgot to tell the powers that be who are responsible for sending stuff my way! I could still use a vacation... maybe no more life changing events until after the holiday... please?

Does this mean I'm an adult?

2008-09-24T06:32:00.000-07:00

As I sit here eating my Honey Nut Cheerios a thought has danced across my mind. I can remember when eating Cheerios, even the honey nut kind, was like asking me to eat a worm. Why in the world would you eat boring old Cheerios when you could have Lucky Charms, or Coco Krispies, or better yet, Count Chocula.

Now my mornings consist of skim milk and cheerios. I splurged on the extra 10 calories last time I was at the grocery store and decided I'd go with the "sweet treat" of the Honey Nut version.

What happened to the little girl who could handle mornings full of sugar? Oh wait, she's living in a subdivision, walking her dog every day at 6AM, getting married, and basically functioning as a full fledged adult. My goodness.

Oh well, its not all bad. At least my mom does not yell at me to make my bed every day! Sorry mom, my bed is a mess! Perhaps that little girl is still in there some where! =)

13 days and counting....

2008-09-22T05:46:00.000-07:00

I'm still out here. Still reading everyone else's posts... trying to find the clarity, time, inclination, and inspiration to post myself. I just can't seem to get much more than these quick "updates" out there.

We are just under two weeks until the wedding. I'm going a little crazy with all that has to be done. Its kind of a lame excuse, but its all I have. Last night sweetie was living up to his name, being very sweet and working his moves in anticipation of well.. errmm.. gettin' some sweetness back... I won't say it was not working, except all of a sudden I was a crying, mascara every where mess. He does switch very quickly to holding and comforting mode though. Poor guys, not exactly the intimacy he was planning.

So my to-do list is about to get made. I'm heading back to Michigan on Thursday for the big event. I have to work in the office for a few days before I leave for 2 weeks. The ladies backing me up need some in person training. That only means that in stead of having one more weekend home, I'm going back on the road. I have to be packed for the wedding and honeymoon by Wednesday. Plus god knows what else I'm forgetting. Oh and puppy has a weird bump on her shoulder. It does not seem to be bothering her at all. I've pushed and felt it and she just sits there. I'm watching her like a hawk to make sure she does not chew at it... and so far nothing.... but considering we are about to leave her with her grandpa for a week and a half... I also get to add find a vet and take puppy in for a check up to my list this week.

So what's on my plate for this week:
Stress
Stress
and more Stress

Holding on to my sanity as best as I can. At least the cry seems to have settled my brain for a few hours... and I have been sleeping like the dead! I'll try to keep focusing on the good things. =)

frazzled friday

2008-09-19T05:22:00.001-07:00

I can't believe its finally Friday. I wish I could be more excited, but I'm worn out today. This has been a long week. Working all day and then quitting just to keep working at home on wedding stuff and dog training. Even though the weekend is here, that just means 2 days of nothing but running around and more work.

We are heading up to Michigan today. Lots of last minute wedding stuff to get done. We have to pay the final bill at the hall, DJ, the florists, and the caterer for the rehearsal dinner. Then finish up our ceremony plan and seating chart. Heck we have not even started the music lists. We both have our bachelor/bachelorette parties on Saturday.... and we have a work function to go to for me on Sunday. Although the last two things should at least be fun. Oh and don't forget the head up to MI part entails an 8 hour round trip in the car with puppy.

Speaking of puppy, she is adjusting better to the new fence system. She's no longer terrified of outside. She even is getting close enough to the flags to hear the alarm. She does not run to cower by the door any more. She runs into the yard where she is suppose to go. I suppose that is a good thing. I figure next week we should start phase two of the training with her.

This morning, with my very short rope of patience, puppy and I are having a battle of wills. She was wandering around outside this morning on her very long lead. I thought, "cool, she's getting use to this yard and her boundaries." She was thinking, "what is that smell? OMG ITS A RABBIT! MUST GET THE BUNNY!"

Thankfully she did not see the actual bunny dart away from her. Her nose was seeing and it was buried too deep into a shrub, but the terrier in her was on the trail. She was so excited. Her tail was just wagging. I let her follow her trail all the way to the flag boarder. She actually stopped when she heard the alarm. Of course she still wanted that bunny. So for the last hour its been her whining to go back out side. Seriously, she's been in her crate whining for an hour. This is not the puppy I need today. Too bad she's just a dog and can't tell when mommy is in a bad mood.

Guess I should be the bigger person ( haha the only person ) and let her out. Not to chase the puppy.... just to make sure that whining is not about having to do other business! The bunny hunt did interrupt that this morning!

I guess I'll have to work on the attitude for this weekend! Hope everyone has a great one!

Crazy Weekend....

2008-09-15T06:49:00.000-07:00

I hope every one is dry today. We are, but from the news reports it sounds like a lot of our neighbors are not. There is flooding all over the place. You should see the standing water on the main street over from ours. Schools are all closed and a couple counties have declared states of emergencies. Thankfully we are on the high side of our sub. There is a marsh a street over and it was over the road on Saturday, but Rita and I walked over there today and it is fine. I have not heard the sump pump go on either... so I'm assuming that is a good thing.

Poor Puppy had a lousy weekend. First off she got wet every time she had to go outside. Sweetie took her for a walk on Saturday and it was raining so hard she just stopped walking. He said she sat down and looked back at him and was like, "come on, you have got to be kidding me!". So they came home. Then she was sick, and threw up her breakfast. You should have seen Sweetie running her to the kitchen and the per go floors so she would not make a mess on the carpet. That poor dog looked so sad. She just sat in the corner of the kitchen while I mopped the floor.

Yesterday we finally got the in-ground fence up and working, which means again she was shocked and traumatized. Before anyone gives me a hard time about the invisible fence thing and what not, just give it a rest. I'm not thrilled with the solution, but it was the only one we could find that would work best for our situation. We rent this house, so putting a real fence up is not an option. We have had her tied up for the last week, but she is a runner and keeping her attached to a post was not good for her either. With the invisible fence she has the most open space and freedom, so once she gets use to her boundaries I know it will be perfect for her.

For training it says to slowly walk her to the border and when the alarm rings pull them out. Well, turns out you can't really hear the alarm, so poor Rita got a zap. It works a little too well. When she got zapped she turned and ran to the house and now doesn't want to go back out side. So now training consists of me dragging the poor girl around the yard, keeping her away from the boarder and trying to get her to stop pulling to go back inside. My neighbors must already be sick of my cheery and happy voice telling Rita what a good girl she is.

I feel like Nurse Ratchet from One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. The shock therapy does work well. Puppy is a completely different dog even in the house. Now she runs to her pen down stairs. Last week she was trying to dig through the wall to get out of it. This morning she has been laying in her bed for the last 2 hours. Of course she is hiding from having to go outside, but she has been quiet and perfect all morning. Its good for work, but I feel so guilty for it!

At least she seemed a tiny bit more comfy in the yard this morning. I know we will get there. Her shock collar is now set to just the alarm. No shock. I'm thinking of writing the manufacturer and telling them that this should be the setting to start with. That's what I get for listening to what the "experts" who wrote the manual say. Hopefully the one shock will be enough. I think the dog whisperer guy is crazy when he says dogs don't remember, they just live in the moment. Rita remembers!

Slowly but surely

2008-09-09T06:37:00.000-07:00

All I can say is that has been a long couple of weeks. We are finally up and running fully at the new house.... although I am still waiting for my office furniture to be delivered. At least we now have Internet thanks to the tech guy who had to come out yesterday and flip some switches. I will never understand why the Internet people even send out the self install kits. I am pretty good at figuring this stuff out... but I have never had one that worked with out having to call technical support. Usually 9 out of 10 times the issue is on their end too. This time I don't think they even turned on the stupid lines. Four days late I guess is better than nothing!

The funny thing is that my office is unpacked, but most of my clothes are still in their boxes. Guess I should work on that this afternoon. I'm running out of fall stuff already. Looks like a shopping trip is in the cards for me! Just what my already full credit cards don't need. Moving is soooo much fun.

Oh and we are less than a month away from the big wedding day. I'm still trying to track down a hair stylist for my bridesmaids, mom, and grandma. At least mine is sorted out. Something tells me the credit cards are not going to recover until after Christmas! =)

Quick Update

2008-09-02T13:19:00.000-07:00

Hi All,

Just wanted to check in with a quick update. I am working in the office this week at headquarters. So I don't have as much time for blogger breaks. People may actually walk into my office and catch me. I can't wait until my home office is up and running next week again.

Good news is that the house we went to look at last week in Indiana was perfect, and they were looking to start getting rent as quickly as we were looking to move. So we signed the lease on Friday. Then unpacked the two cars and headed back up to Michigan so Sweetie could pick up the rest of our house stuff and I could stay with my mom and come to work this week!

Staying with mom has been fun. Her and puppy are at home today on their own. Puppy runs around the back yard and "Grandma" sits on her patio watching her. We were lucky she had the week off so she could puppy sit. I would hate to have to crate the dog all day while I was at work!

So Sweetie is in Indiana starting his new job this week, and puppy and I are in Michigan. The Internet in the new house is going in this weekend, so we should be back to one big happy family on Friday. Man its going to be long week! Us girls ( me and puppy ) are already missing our guy too much!

Now the fun begins...

2008-08-27T18:00:00.000-07:00

Well we made it to Chicagoland this afternoon. That's apparently what they call the suburbs of Chicago. I think we hit town around 11 or noon. We spent the afternoon checking out where in Whiting the refinery that sweetie is working at is. Whiting is not that big so it was easy to find.

Then we went started to look for houses to rent. There was one in Hobart, but we missed the exit ramp on the interstate so it took us forever to find it going in the wrong way. Plus then our TomTom was high or something and totally kept sending us into a dead end. We finally turned it off and navigated the old fashion way. That trip took forever. We were both tired and hungry, so we decided to find a hotel next.

It took us 6 hotels before we found one under $200 that allowed pets. Seriously, six of them, and with the exception of the first 2, every other one was completely empty. They would rather have empty rooms than let a quiet little 20 pound dog sleep in her crate in one of their rooms. Crazy.

We did finally find a HoJo. Not to scare my mom or anything... but it not exactly in a great part of town. It is at least quiet and there are not many guests. I'm sure its a perfectly safe and fine area... its just not very pretty and so completely different from the corn fields we were surrounded by yesterday. Although I am trying not to think of all those lovely news programs they love to show on tv about how so not clean hotels room are!

So now the real stress begins. Trying to find a house in a decent amount of time so that we are not living out of our suitcases ( or in the case of me and puppy with my mom in Michigan ) for too much longer. I have a feeling its going to be harder than we thought. Everything really close is pretty crappy, and so far all the other stuff we have found is really huge! The three of us do not really need a 6 bedroom house that is almost an hour away from sweetie's job. I don't want to have to clean that! =)

We have a house to look at tomorrow. Please keep your fingers and toes crossed for us! Plus we are going to at least find a nicer hotel. I'm sorry Howard Johnson, but after being on the road for the last 5 days, this girl needs an upgrade!

One more day to go....

2008-08-26T19:18:00.000-07:00

We are about 200 miles out side of Chicago tonight. I can't even tell you what the name of the town is. Only that it is about 20 minutes in side the western edge of Illinois. We should be in the Whiting area by lunch time tomorrow.

Today's drive was a fun one. At at about 2 we stopped at a rest stop and realized we had a tire going flat on the trailer. Poor sweetie unpacked all his tools and the spare, got the bad tire off and could not get the spare on the stupid trailer. Apparently the trailer manufacture decided that using a standard lug pattern would just be silly. So they have their own unique one. Thankfully the tire was still holding air and we were only 6 mile away from the next town. Of course we were in the middle of Iowa, so who knew what that town would hold. We were very lucky though. It was practically a booming metropolis... well, for Iowa. The trailer store did not have the tires... but they pointed us in the direction of the House-Auto-Farm Store. They did not have the right tire, but they did have the auto shop so that they could put our spare tire on the old wheel. So we were back on the road, and it only took about 2 hours and $76. All in all not bad, considering this is the second cross country trip for those tires.

Topeka, KS

2008-08-25T18:45:00.000-07:00

Well at the end of day 3 we are about 10 hours away from Indiana. Tonight we are staying in Topeka. Its been a long couple of days. We ended not hitting the road until almost 7 on Saturday. Its all a blur. It seems like we have been moving for 3 weeks. I suppose with all the packing we have been.

In any case, as soon as I sat in the car for 2 hours on Saturday, my body finally relaxed and the adrenalin that had been keeping me going for the last 4 days stopped working... which just left room for the cold I had been holding off to take full charge. Poor sweetie has been doing to bulk of the driving... and that is really under stating it. I drove for about 3 hours today for the first time. =)

Some how my road warrior got us all the way through California and most of Nevada on Saturday night. We pulled into our first hotel at after 1 am. On Sunday he got us through Arizona, Utah, and half of Colorado. We stayed at little hotel about an hour out side of Denver. Today we hit the road at almost 5 in the morning. Neither of us could sleep. So tonight it was an early night off the road.... hence the post. We actually had time to have a real dinner.

The puppy has been fairly good through it all. She loves the car. Sleeps most of the time and then crawls all over me.... but its not bad. She likes to sit and watch out the front window. I keep pointing out all the new things a girl born and raised in so cal would never see.... 6 states, cows, horses, goats, farms, actual open spaces. The only hard part is that when we stop and let her out she is absolutely insane and crazy. She just has too much energy. Which is another reason for the early stop today. Puppy and I got to go on a nice long walk. I walked her until she finally started walking like a good puppy again. Then we walked a little farther. We both should sleep well tonight!

What happened to Wednesday???

2008-08-22T05:14:00.000-07:00

I have been so confused with what day it is this week. In stead of flying home on Sunday like we have for the past year and a half, we landed at LAX on Monday.... I have been a day behind all week.

Not usually a big deal, except for when your moving company tells you that they will be here sometime on Thursday or Friday. They were suppose to call us 24 hours before hand and tell us which day for sure. We never got that call.

I was suppose to unplug the fridge on Wednesday night, of course having been a day behind all week I unplugged it Thursday morning thinking that I was a head of the curve. So there I was sitting at my desk Thursday morning trying to get some work cleaned up before I have all of next week off. I look up out my window and think, "wow, that is a huge moving truck going down the street!" Then the panic starts. All of a sudden I realize it IS THURSDAY, and my house is no where near ready for movers. Heck there were still clothes in the dress, food in that fridge that I just turned off... and boxes scattered every where. I was suppose to have Wednesday night to organize and finish up. Oh goodness.

So I make a panic call to sweetie, who is also at work trying to tie up lose ends. Here's how that conversation went:

me: "A giant truck just drove by the house, please tell me some one else is moving today?"

him: "I have not gotten a call, its probably someone else."

me: "What are the odd that some else is moving the same day and using the same company? If this is our truck you better be getting in your truck and coming home as fast as possible!"

2 minutes later.....

him: "umm, yeah that's our truck, I'm just dropping something off and am on my way."

me: "No talking, chit chatting, or stopping! Get here quick!"

I woke up yesterday with a lovely head cold starting and was a little doped on cold medicines. Not really in the mood for surprise movers. Thankfully sweetie could hear the panic in my voice and got here quick. Plus I think the movers are pretty use to people not really being ready. They were very nice.

Of course you should have seen me flying around the house trying to pack the last of the stuff and figure out what they actually needed to take. Its amazing how fast you can pack things up when you have to!

So not looking forward to the unpacking though! =)

We hit the road tomorrow..... if we both actually manage to remember that tomrorow is Saturday! =)

Bridal Shower

2008-08-18T16:56:00.000-07:00

Our Bridal shower was yesterday afternoon. It was a very nice party. Everyone seemed to have a really good time. My mom, sisters and I ran around like chicken's with out heads cut off trying to get it all pulled together at the end. I think I am going to have to be very, very organized for the wedding coming up..... but I suppose I will worry about that in a few days.

For the shower activity we all made scrapbook pages of pictures of sweetie and me. We ended up with almost 3 books full. They are very nice and I will enjoy looking at them as the years go by. If I ever get moved and settled in Indiana, I will try to post some of the pages.

I was very touched by the party and all the guests. We are very, very blessed with people who care very much for us. As I was finished opening all our gifts, I was trying to thank everyone and especially my mom, sisters, and sweetie's surrogate mom for all their hard work... but I started crying. It was kind of funny. I just could not do it. So I turned to Billy and told him to thank every one. I had half the room teary eyed. Oh well. I laughed and told them to bring lots of tissues to the wedding... I am a crier! =)

Now I think I will go online and see about ordering some wedding tissues to pass out. The ladies will get a kick out of that!

Quick Check In

2008-08-17T05:38:00.001-07:00

I can't believe its been almost a week since I posted. Its been a crazy week. I'm in Michigan currently, its our wedding shower this afternoon. So I don't have much time to say much. My mom and I are trying to finish up the last minute details.

All is going good. The move is almost lined up. We just have to nail down a car hauler for the '77 Bronco. I'm still not sure if we will get everything packed... but the plan is to hit the road on Saturday. We fly back to LA tomorrow. That will give us 4 days... and of course we are both working all week too. So don't be surprised if my posts are few and far between. I will try to keep an update on the road.... if I can manage to stay awake that long once we find a hotel each night! heehee

At least I have been able to get lots of wedding stuff done this weekend. Had my first dress fitting which was good. Worked out the details with the florist, and Billy started his wedding band. We might actually pull both the move and the wedding off.... maybe! =)

Another week, another ER

2008-08-11T19:13:00.000-07:00

Last weekend ended with a family trip to the Vet ER with puppy. This morning it was another trip to a different ER. Sweetie's turn today. I woke up to him coughing extremely hard in the bathroom. He said it felt like some one was stabbing him in the kidneys. I asked if we had to go to the hospital and he said he did not know.

So I went to let the dog out, only to hear him getting sick then. Puppy and I went running into the house. I asked again if we needed to go to the hospital and this time he agreed to it. If my sweetie does not fight going to the dr, its not a good thing.

So 4:45 am I find myself dragging puppy outside to make her "do her business" because I had no idea when we would be home again, and jumping into the car while trying to remember where the closest ER actually was. Thankfully there is one only about 6 minutes from us, since with the amount of pain he was in, sweetie was not handling the car ride very well.

The ER was empty and they took us right in. After about 30 mins he had a cat scan, and 20 minutes later a verdict.... a 6mm kidney stone. Which apparently for kidney stones is a pretty good sized one. My sweetie, he can't do anything small! Of course after about 20 mins of being at the hospital, the stone passed on its own and all the pain went away. Which is a very good thing. I have a rule with sweetie that he never seems to follow. He is not suppose to get sick. I just don't like seeing him suffer.

Tonight he is back out in the garage working on the bronco, playing with puppy, and giving me a hard time. All is back to normal once again. Well as normal as anyone can be less than 2 weeks away from a move across the country and less than 2 months away from getting married! =)

This is so not like me

2008-08-09T20:52:00.001-07:00

I was having a crabby day yesterday, so I decided to do some shopping therapy. I know, not exactly the best activity when you are down and pissed off at sweetie. Really it was more hormonal than anything.

In any case there I was at the mall looking for a cute skirt to wear to my bridal shower next weekend. I ended up at The Gap. Now, for most of the world, a thirty something girl shopping at the gap is probably not that surprising. Let me just say, for me it was amazing. I have never been able to actually fit into anything at The Gap. I've been a plus size girl since high school. In the last few years I have been working on that.... but its only been in the last year ( a wedding tends to be a good motivator ) that I have actually been able to cross the Plus Size threshold. Its still a new feeling. Sometimes I forget and still start in the wrong department... but I suppose we all should have these problems in life! Clothes shopping is actually starting to be fun. I actually look forward to dressing up.

Any who... I have discovered a problem with the new joy of shopping, and I have a feeling The Gap is going to be a bad thing for me. As I was walking around looking for a skirt, I just had to have this:

You would think a purse is not really that bad of a thing.... but I am just not have to have a bag like that sort of girl. My last purse I got a target for $10. I don't think I've ever paid more than $20 for a handbag. Its just something to carry my wallet and keys in. Oh my goodness this bag cost almost $70! I think my time in California has changed me in more ways that I ever thought was possible since I actually bought the thing. The bag is just too cute and I feel so good and confident when carrying it. I suppose that is money well spent.

Did I mention that the new job location will be within an easy 30 minute drive of the Magnificent Mile in Chicago. Something tells me sweetie might be taking control of my credit cards if this shopping thing gets any worse! heehee

California Sunset

2008-08-09T20:33:00.000-07:00

After living 10 minutes from the ocean for the last year and a half, and with only 2 more weeks left out here; sweetie and I actually caught a sunset at the beach tonight. It was a nice moment. We watched the sun sink into the Pacific and took a moment to reflect on our time out here. I know we will miss the beach walks and weather. It will be fun to look back at this time when we are older and laugh at our young selves. The conversation was as follows:

me: We will have a good story to tell the grand kids.
sweetie: "What did you do grandpa when you lived in California?"
both of us: "Watch TV!"

heehee Of course we did do a little more than that. Saw some nice places, learned how to live together for the first time, got engaged, bought our bronco, and adopted puppy. I'd say that's a pretty good stay in this crazy town!

Of course I did not have my camera... so no pictures of the sunset. Sorry! If we would have planned to see a sunset, then odds are we would have missed it any ways. =)

Opening Ceremonies

2008-08-08T05:26:00.000-07:00

Tonight ( or I suppose today with the time difference ) are the opening ceremonies for the Summer Olympics. In the past this would be met with excitement and joy in my house. I must say though the Olympics have lost some of their shine for me. This has been happening slowly. I think its a combo of getting older and mixing in professional athletes.

I will say this year there is a definite feeling of disappointment for me. I'm not claiming to be an expert and I'm sure some will say this is naive, but it just seems like the IOC could have found a host country with a better human rights track record.

I get that not all countries will have the same set up and work as my country does. I don't expect them to. I do, however, think that there are certain beliefs this country has that we should stand up for.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.

(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Declaration_of_Independence)

I'm not promoting a boycott by our athletes. I get that they just want to compete and should not be pawns in a global statement. I am also not saying that war or forcing countries to comply to our standards is the correct or only way too.

I do think though that having our President, the highest representative of our beliefs and standards, sitting happily at the opening ceremonies pretending all is good in this host country, is definitely NOT the right thing. "We hold these truths to be self-evident". Its pretty clear and does not leave much room for interpretation. If they are so clear, then shouldn't we as a country do a little more to stand up for them and help all of our fellow humans find their own freedom?

There are ways to make statements and help the "tired, poor, and huddled masses yearning to be free" that don't involve bombs and physical force. I really do think our world leaders missed a prime opportunity today for such a statement.

It won't mean much and no one in China will ever know, but this girl will make her statement and hope that some day the poor, starving, and oppressed will understand the same freedoms we are so blessed with.

Not my idea of proper work attire!

2008-08-05T05:33:00.000-07:00

To the weather lady on the local CBS morning news:

I understand that you have a size zero waist, but now that you have your new additions up top, you are no longer a size zero. Please do all of us trying to greet the day at the ridiculous time of 5 am a favor. If you are going to wear the button down shirt that pulls open and shows full bra and boob-age every time you turn side ways... please, please just keep facing straight. My body image can barely handle the size zero waist that early... so I do not need the reminder that perfectly perky breasts are not any where near my future as well. Let me at least get some breakfast in me before I have to bare witness to that.

Here's a little tip from Stacy and Clinton on "What not to Wear": You have to dress to fit the biggest part of you and tailor to make the rest fit.

Thank you and Good Morning!

Sick puppy

2008-08-04T09:00:00.000-07:00

My little puppy is sick today. She has kennel cough. I don't feel guilty enough for having to leave her at the kennel when we go out of town.... now I get to add more because it makes her sick. Poor baby.

She was throwing up most of the day yesterday. She was acting fine, so I just figured she ate something that did not agree with her. By 8:30 pm it was getting worse and we were getting worried. Which meant it was time for our first trip to the emergency vet clinic. Thankfully there is one like 5 minutes from our house. I held puppy on my lap trying to keep a pee-pee pad under her mouth every time she gagged. Not an easy task.

Puppy was of course excited and happy to be going on a trip. Clearly the hacking and puking was not slowing her down. It was not a fun trip for mommy and daddy. First we were worried, then we had to keep cleaning up her messes, and she was in her crazy dog mode which is never fun when people need to examine her. Then I'm guessing they must have suspected Kennel Cough ( which is very contagious and easily spread ) because they made us keep her outside until a room was ready. I had to carry her around the clinic so she would not contaminate anything. Two hours later the Dr finally came in to see her. At least puppy decided to get sick a couple times for her. Its easier to let the vet see first hand, than try to describe the problem.

They sent us home with antibiotic and cough suppressant. Kennel cough is pretty much like the common cold for us. Her throat is sore and irritated so she coughs, and sometime so hard she gets sick. Poor little thing, it is an awful sound. She is also dehydrated, so if any one has any good tips on how to get a dog that is not interested in drinking water to drink more water.... please pass them along! So far following her around with a cup and begging is not working. Although she did like playing with the ice cubes after breakfast today.

She's sleeping now on her bed. Hopefully the meds work quickly! I don't like seeing my loved ones sick.... and let me tell you its even worse when they can't tell you what is wrong. Those puppy dog eyes she keeps giving me are breaking my heart. Its going to get even worse this afternoon when she's standing by the door for her walk, but can't go because she's contagious and dehydrated.

That is one good thing about moving closer to home. There will be plenty of people willing to puppy sit for us, so no more kennels!

Huntington Dog Beach

2008-08-02T21:06:00.000-07:00

Since we are down to only 2 more weekends left in SoCal, sweetie and I decided to take a trip down to Huntington Beach. Not only does HB have the coolest Dog Beach, but they also have the best hamburger shack I have found in this state. Of course I forgot my camera. I'm not very good at remembering that thing!

It was sunny and warm in Torrance when we left the house. I actually went back in and put some sun block on. By the time we got to HB it was over cast, but still pretty nice. Plus the waves were fairly decent.... so there were a lot of people watching to be had.

We started at TK's Burgers. I was a little worried about trying to eat in public with our puppy. She is a little hyper and likes to greet and jump on every one and every dog we see. Her daddy lovingly calls her psycho, but I have been working hard with her on our walks and figured we could handle all the distractions. Plus we got a new gentle leader head collar a couple of weeks ago, which has been a big help. I picked a nice bench on the sidewalk in front of TK's and by the time sweetie came out with the burgers puppy was just laying nicely on the grass next to me. Hardly even noticing the people. She was a good girl. I knew she had it in her!

heehee She's snoring on the couch next to me now. We must have worn her out today.

After lunch we went for a nice walk on the dog beach. Puppy does not quite get the concept of listening to us when we call her. Most of the time, is she even acknowledges hearing her name, its just with a glance back and then continuing on her way. So we have to keep her on leash at the beach. Its kind of sad because you can tell she just wants to run and chase like every one else.... but I know she will get it eventually and will have plenty of time to run free. We even made some good strides on the swimming front. Usually she does everything she can to not go near any of the water, but today she even followed me in a few feet. She still does not seem to really like the water, and the waves scare her though. Of course even the little waves are mid chest for her. I don't like waves that big either!

It was a nice California day. I know I will miss days like this mid-March in Indiana!

Its Official

2008-08-01T05:35:00.000-07:00

We are officially moving to Indiana this month. The plan ( as it stands today ) is to hit the road on 8/23. I guess that leaves me and sweetie 22 days to get this house packed up and ready to go. Wait that's not true, 5 of those 22 days will be spent in Michigan. My bridal shower is this month. We had planned the home trip long before moving came up. Goodness, that means only 17 workable days. Its going to be an interesting August!

The funny thing is that the whole point of getting married this October was to avoid having to move 2 months before the wedding. The original plan for Sweetie's current job was that it would end in May or June. We should have been moving then, and already settled in to the new place. You know what they say about making plans.... If you want to make God laugh, just make a plan!

My grandma m has always told me that god only gives you challenges he knows you can handle. I take comfort in knowing that I will get it all done and organized ( at least this is one time being a perfectionist organizing freak is a good thing ), but I also think God has a little too much fun watching me run around like a chicken with my head cut off. heehee

Thankfully this will be the third move for us in a year and a half. We have all our boxes from the last move and I have become an expert packer. Not to mention that you pretty much live lightly when you have to move all the time. The best part about this new job - 3 YEAR DURATION! Oh it will be nice to not have to move in the next couple of years. =)

On a less stressful side, I got the wedding invites in the mail this week. I also managed to book the hotel rooms for my family for the night before the wedding. We are getting married at a golf course closer to Sweetie's side of town. Its only an hour drive from my mom's house, but considering the ceremony is at 1 in the afternoon, we figured it would be easier to be closer. Plus this way I can have my own room and lots of space to get ready in. Sweetie should be booking the honeymoon today. I think that means that anything else that needs to be done can wait until after the move. Man I hope I am not forgetting anything!

Earthquake '08

2008-07-30T09:30:00.000-07:00

Considering the fact that we are only going to be in California for less than a month, I have a feeling the Earthquake Gods decided this mid-western girl should have the experience of a good ground shaking.

I must say it is an interesting feeling. At first I noticed my chair was shaking, but my brain was a little slow to catch on. The ground is not suppose to move like that, so I thought I must have been having a stroke or something. Finally my brain caught up and realized my desk and the entire house was also shaking. "Oh," I thought, "this is an earthquake." Of course then my next thought was, "wait, the ground is still moving... what am I suppose to do?" I guess I always expected it to be really short. Granted this one only lasted at most a minute... but it did seem longer than that. By the time I figured out that I should let the dog out of her crate and get both of us outside, the ground had stopped moving. I was almost unsure that it was not all in my imagination. Then I noticed the waves in the pool and the blinds all moving.

Thankfully there has been no real damage reported. Nothing even fell off of its shelf in my house. I was worried though for a bit. I figured if we could feel it that bad the epicenter had to have it worse. I forgot to factor in that these people are use to this sort of thing. They engineer buildings for it. The sky scrapers downtown all swayed... exactly as they are suppose to do. It is actually quite impressive. Heck, the fact that it took me a day to even write this speaks to how this city just rolls with the ground when it goes. =) We all took a deep breath, calmed down, and then went about our normal days.

It is a very interesting experience.... but I'm also glad to be heading back to firmer ground in the near future!

Vegas Pictures

2008-07-29T14:55:00.001-07:00

As promised... here are a few high lights:

Lobby at Bellagio:

Miniature Bellagio in the lobby. We stayed at the MGM... but had to go and see the famous Bellagio... it was worth the walk down the strip even if it was 110 degrees!

Sweetie in Bellagio lobby:
Hoover Dam:
Me at the Hoover Dam:

I must say the hoover dam was pretty impressive. Granted I live with an engineer, so in the past 3 years I have gained more insight into the massive construction jobs.... but I think any one can be impressed with the massive under taking this structure must have been.

Vegas Baby!

2008-07-27T19:56:00.001-07:00

Its been a while since I posted anything... but I have a good reason. The sweetie and I went to Vegas for the weekend. We have been saying since we came out here that we should go. Since its only a four hour drive. It took us all of the time we've been here to finally go. It was a fun weekend. I'm sleepy now though. =)

I had never been to Sin City before. I think I know why now. Its just not my type of town. I'm a little more low key than anything in Vegas. The high light of the weekend for me was seeing the Hover Dam. Oh and we did at least win $32. I told my sweetie we had to gamble at least once. He humored me, but was dragging his feet. He seemed to walk a little quicker after we won. heehee

Sweetie also has an Aunt who lives there, so it was nice to catch up with her. Plus one of his co-workers got married. This time we could not come up with any excuses not to go. The funny thing was that I forgot it was the end of July as we were planning the trip. I did not ever connect the dots that we were going to be heading to the desert in the middle of the summer. Seriously, people are not suppose to live in places like that. It was just too hot, too loud, too crowded, and too over the top. Neither of us really drink or go for that wild and crazy parting though. Just not our scene I guess.

My mother always made us try new things at least once at dinner before we could declare we did not like it. At least now I have tried the Vegas scene. I'll try to post some pictures tomorrow...

Is that a yummy bone?

2008-07-23T14:16:00.000-07:00

This is what happens when mommy turns her back and actually thinks she can do some online shopping for more than 5 mins! =) I guess we won't be playing tug of war with this toy any more.... but man you should have seen the fun puppy had chasing around mommy as she tried to pick all of this up! She is lucky she is so cute!

This and that...

2008-07-23T11:16:00.001-07:00

Not too much going on today at the moment.. so I thought I would take some time to update the goings on around here lately. Its been a kind of crazy few days. Sweetie and I have had many conversations about where we want to spend the next few years.

I would say we are about 95% of the way committed to moving to Indiana. The sweetie's current boss asked him for a couple days to see if they could put together a counter offer for him. The Indiana job is with a new firm, and I doubt that the current one will be able to match it. Plus we both know there is nothing available that close to home... and after almost 2 years of being on the opposite side of the country from our families... the close to home aspect is almost the biggest selling point now. At least its only a few more days of moving limbo. I should be able to manage that.

Of course as I was walking the dog around the back yard this morning at 4:40 am to encourage her to "do her business" rather than play in the pool, it did strike me that we will have to come up with a different plan. There is no way that habit will continue once we get back to enjoying Midwest winters! I'm thinking puppy might get to learn how to use a dog door at the new house.

The only other thing keeping me busy this week is trying to figure out how I want to do the addresses for the wedding invites. I'm thinking labels, since I just don't have the time to hand write them. Normally I get my labels from the stock room at work. Since that's not really an option now that I work from home, I made a trip to Staples the other day. You would not think buying labels was so hard... but they did not have what I wanted. So I went home and looked on line. Apparently you can only order work place quantities on line. I guess I'll have to try some of the other office stores around here. That's the plan for this afternoon. Wish me luck. Its always the things that I think will be easy and not take too much time that seem to be the hardest for me!

Monday Homework 2

2008-07-21T16:31:00.000-07:00

This week's homework is all about control.... and giving some of it up. Part of being a perfectionist is about trying to control everything and anything that comes your way. If you can control a situation, then you can make sure it turns out perfect.

The problem is that this need to control is sneaky. It likes to sneak up on me. Half the time I don't even realize I'm doing it. Plus trying to control the uncontrollable only leaves you feeling ineffectual, useless, and a waste when it all doesn't go the way you want.

So this week the homework assignment is to work on identifying those moments when you are trying to control something completely out of your control jurisdiction. That will be a good start. If you are feeling extra ambitious, the extra credit is to identify what emotion the need to control is triggering, and then focus on what in that situation is actually in your control.

Good Luck!

mmm.... muffins

2008-07-19T12:52:00.000-07:00

I had a couple bananas going bad pretty quick. Since there is only thing I know to with mushy bananas... I made muffins today. I have been wanting to try some creative recipe design, so I searched my pantry and came up with Banana Oat Muffins with Strawberry Jam and Granola topping. They are still cooling off, so I will have to report back on the the results!

happy saturday!

Moving limbo...

2008-07-18T05:25:00.000-07:00

We might be moving sooner than expected. My sweetie's current job assignment has been a roller coaster ride for the last couple of weeks. On Monday they extended his contract to the end of September, the week before they weren't even sure if the job was going to complete. They have lots of drama that I won't go into.

Yesterday he received half of a job offer from another company. This job is in Indiana and is slated to be a 3 year assignment. Last night was a lot of discussions about where we wanted to be and how we wanted to nudge our life. Lots of fun for two people who really do have a hard time making a decision. Especially with only half the info from the job info. The 2 day old diet took a hit yesterday, since the only way a discussion like that can happen is over cheeseburgers, fries, and chocolate pies! =)

With the Michigan economy tanking worse than most, I'm just not sure ending our life on the road is a good thing right now. A 3 year job assignment that pays good, seems silly to give up for uncertainty. Plus rather than a 5 hour flight to home, we will only be a 4 hour drive away.

Sweetie is scheduled to get the rest of the details today. Wish us luck, this could be an interesting weekend and next couple of months. Odds are this job will be starting in September. That means in the next 2 months we will be finalizing wedding plans, flying back to Michigan for our shower, packing up a house, moving with a dog three-quarters of the way across the country, finding a new house, and then actually getting married. Lets just say, I am really looking forward to the honeymoon... which until we know where we will be living.... we can't even book! Goodness!

Thank you Grandma!

2008-07-16T11:20:00.000-07:00

As I'm eating my lunch, I can't help but think of my Grandma S. I'm thoroughly enjoying a tomato and cheese sandwich. Relishing in the drippy, messy, goodness.

I can still remember the day, way too many years ago, that grandma introduced her oldest granddaughter to this simple sandwich. I think seeing how none of the cherry tomatoes in my mom's garden ever made it into the house tipped her off that I might like it.... oh how right she was. I just can't help but being happy and remembering all those wonderful summers at my grandparent's cottage when ever I even smell fresh tomatoes just off the vine.

Making the sandwich is simple, but at lunch time I never want to deal with the mess of slicing tomatoes. I like to just grab and go with my lunches. I finally realized though, that if I slice up a few tomatoes at the beginning of the week. I can make easy sandwiches every day! Oh the joy!!!

The recipe is simple:

2 slices of bread
4-5 slices of good, ripe tomatoes - not cherry ones.. they would roll too much to stay in the sandwich
2 slices of cheese... I prefer American or cheddar.. but I suppose you can use anything
1 tblsp mayo ( I use fat free since I can't really tell the difference any more )
mustard to taste

Mayo on one slice of bread, then tomatoes on top of it. I find the mayo helps work as a glue to hold the slices in place. Then the cheese and mustard on the other slice. Put together and enjoy a little piece of summer heaven!

Wedding Crafts

2008-07-15T13:51:00.000-07:00

I have been taking a break from working on the wedding stuff this week, but figured I still could catch you up on what I have.
Last week I busted my butt to get my invites done. Here's the completed look.

On Friday I started the table number tents. I was not going to make these, just use the ones the hall has... but those just seemed so dull and did not fit in with the fall theme. So here are my versions. They are not done yet though. I ran out of the leaf die cuts... so I'm waiting for yet another delivery.

This week I am suppose to be tackling the thank you cards. All the supplies are still just sitting on the dining room table waiting for me. Maybe tomorrow I will have the motivation to start them.... we will see!

Free Online Food Journal

2008-07-15T07:57:00.001-07:00

I stumbled across a pretty cool online food journal today. Its free and still has all the bells and whistles of the ones I have paid for in the past.

http://www.prevention.com

Go to the Health Tracker Tag. You can log calories, exercise, and even body measurements.

Keeping a journal is the only way I can lose weight. Just remember, no matter how you log, the key is to be completely honest with what you are actually putting into your mouth! =)

Monday Homework Assignment

2008-07-14T16:45:00.000-07:00

This week's assignment is going to be a tough one ( for me any ways ).

The assignments are always due the following Monday.

This week build a list of 7 concrete positive characteristics that make you who you are.

In other words, fill in the blank 7 times:

The real and true me, the me underneath all the self doubt, and ill thoughts, is _________.

Depression sucks!

2008-07-13T20:23:00.001-07:00

Today was a hard day. I have good ones and bad ones. thankfully my depression is extremely mild, so my bad days are still pretty functioning. I almost feel guilty claiming depression... but then I think that is more a cause then true feeling. It leads back to that perfectionist. I'm not really depressed, I'm just not working hard enough at being perfectly happy all the time. Its an ugly loop I get stuck on.

In any case, today was a tough one. I slept bad last night with odd dreams stressing me out and then woke up on the wrong side of the bed and really just slid down hill most of the day.

At least the evening ended better. I kept at it and not only just survived, but actually feel a little better. I'm tired though, more tired than I should be for the amount of stuff I did today... which was pretty much just try not to cry most of the day. Its amazing how exhausting that can be.

I'm actually looking forward to Monday. At least my routine is easier to stick to and work, as dull as it is, keeps my mind off of all the self destructive negative thoughts for 7.5 hours or so!

Relaxing Saturday Morning

2008-07-12T07:36:00.000-07:00

All week I look forward to sleeping in on Saturday. Living in California, but working on east coast time makes for some very early morning. I'm usually up by 4:40 am and pretty much get right to work. So Saturday mornings are my favorite. Typically I sleep in extra long while my sweetie gets up and lets the dog out, sits with her and basically deals with her for an hour or so on his own. Working from home means that job usually falls on me... I love taking at least one hour off once a week.

This morning fate had another plan. I did at least get to sleep in until 6:30, but sweetie was still sleeping and puppy needed to go out. Not the end of the world. I let her out and sat on the couch... hoping for at least a calm morning. Puppy had a different plan by falling into the pool, and it never fails that as soon as she gets soaking wet she does not want to be outside any more but sitting on the couch with me. There goes the calm morning! Oh well, at least we got to get some training in first thing. Puppy really is starting to get the sit and stay command. She even let me dry her off a bit.

Is making my dog sit and stay while I dry her off so she does not come into my house and make a mess giving into my perfectionist tendencies? Probably, but I'm not giving up on dry and clean furniture to work on that one!

2008-07-11T17:09:00.000-07:00

Hello all! I'm not quite sure where I should start... so I guess I will start with me. Right now I am sitting outside in our back yard. I am a Michigan girl, but currently am living outside of Los Angeles. My future hubby has a job that moves him all over the country. We have been in LA for a little more than a year and a half. It took a while, but I think I have finally gotten use to it. I still miss the seasons.... but sitting in the sun every day no matter what month it is has its perks. Plus, the 6:30 in the morning dog walks are definitely a lot better out here then they would be back home!

This is the first job that I have gone on with my sweetie. We dated for a year and half before we left for Cally. He was on the road, but close enough to come home every weekend. Basically when this job came up it was either only see him once a month or move out here with him. Luckily my boss agreed to let me work from home. So I was able to keep my job. Which is really a huge benefit, considering most of these road assignments only last 2 years tops.... so I'd have to keep finding new jobs in every new location.

Working from home has been interesting. Its actually a lot harder than I thought. I really don't get a lot of human interaction. Add in the fact that my dear fiancee works at least 10 hours a day, and I end up spending a lot of time on my own. Bottom line, I have been struggling with boarder line depression for most of our stay out here. Oh, yes my therapist makes good money on me! The funniest part of this whole process is figuring myself out. I guess that is why I have decided to start this blog. I see it as a good way to practice speaking my mind and working on my self confidence. Funny how when I was younger I figured by the time I was 30+ I would have found my inner voice and had it all figured out.... oh how wrong I was!

So here we go! Its about time I found that voice and love for myself!