This afternoon on my normal lunch time dog walk, I actually stepped outside of my comfort zone. It feels kind of good. Silly too for not doing it sooner. My one neighbor across the street was out with her dog and two lovely daughters. They were all running around and playing. Since puppy has been dying to meet their dog, I decided I would take the initative and go introduce ourselves.
Normally I think that I should do stuff like that, but usually talk myself out of it becuase I don't want to be a pain or intrude. When really I think its more like I don't think I'm worth their time, or I don't think I'll be interesting enough, or I don't look good enough... blah blah... basically me and my self worth issues getting in my way.
Today I don't know what it was, I just said to suck it up and go with my first instinct. The one that wants to be out going and approachable. The one who likes knowing her neighbors and does not mind if they want to come over to chit-chat. I'm slowly learning nothing ventured is nothing gained. I did not think or over analyze. I just said screw it and went to meet the cute neighbor family. They were very nice and sweet too.
Perhaps its the new hair. I feel brave and a little funky. The scared and sad girl is still there, but I don't know, maybe now the real me is a little closer to the surface. Who knew all that hair was holding soo much baggage?
mixed feelings day
Man I am all over the place today. Part of me wants to cry, part wants to dance, part is anxious, and another part can't wait for the next thing. My hormones being all over the place this week too probably is not helping.
Last night I got a hair cut. Well, really I got them all cut. hardee-ha-ha I had a lot cut off. No more safe and simple ponytail for me. No more taking comfort in the fact that even for dress up days I can make a fancy ponytail. My hair with all its imperfections are out there for the world to see. This is actually quite a big deal for me. For the first time in years I am determined to accept my hair and go with it. So it flips out and curls goofy. So its thick and full and never lays symmetrically on my head. One side will curl under and the other will flip out. SO BE IT! Here I am world with my crazy imperfect hair!
I have to say I do like the cut. I'm still getting use to the styling of it... but today I just washed and let it air dry.. which it actually did. The long hair would only reach full dryness sometime while I slept that night, after washing it in the morning mind you....
Although at the same time that I am loving the new freedom of just letting my hair be and not trying to always have perfect hair... I am also missing that ponytail. I miss having it to play with. I miss the idea of being able to do so much more with my hair.. but telling myself I was just choosing not to. I miss my hair. Its kind of weird, but I guess its just the simple truth.
I suppose I will try to remind my self why I was so ready to chop it off... the knots in it, the constant shedding all over my house ( I swear there is more of my hair than dog fur on my couch ), the bulk of it always being every where.. and of course that god forsaken boring ass ponytail!
Ok, missing it a little less. I like the new freedom and I have faith I will even grow to appreciate the crazy imperfect curls. Although I suppose I have more work. I must confess that I tried to take a couple "self portraits" but thought my hair was a disaster area and I looked like crap in all of them.... still working on accepting that wonderfully not perfect life thing.... its getting there, maybe next week when the hormones calm down I'll be ready for that picture!
Last night I got a hair cut. Well, really I got them all cut. hardee-ha-ha I had a lot cut off. No more safe and simple ponytail for me. No more taking comfort in the fact that even for dress up days I can make a fancy ponytail. My hair with all its imperfections are out there for the world to see. This is actually quite a big deal for me. For the first time in years I am determined to accept my hair and go with it. So it flips out and curls goofy. So its thick and full and never lays symmetrically on my head. One side will curl under and the other will flip out. SO BE IT! Here I am world with my crazy imperfect hair!
I have to say I do like the cut. I'm still getting use to the styling of it... but today I just washed and let it air dry.. which it actually did. The long hair would only reach full dryness sometime while I slept that night, after washing it in the morning mind you....
Although at the same time that I am loving the new freedom of just letting my hair be and not trying to always have perfect hair... I am also missing that ponytail. I miss having it to play with. I miss the idea of being able to do so much more with my hair.. but telling myself I was just choosing not to. I miss my hair. Its kind of weird, but I guess its just the simple truth.
I suppose I will try to remind my self why I was so ready to chop it off... the knots in it, the constant shedding all over my house ( I swear there is more of my hair than dog fur on my couch ), the bulk of it always being every where.. and of course that god forsaken boring ass ponytail!
Ok, missing it a little less. I like the new freedom and I have faith I will even grow to appreciate the crazy imperfect curls. Although I suppose I have more work. I must confess that I tried to take a couple "self portraits" but thought my hair was a disaster area and I looked like crap in all of them.... still working on accepting that wonderfully not perfect life thing.... its getting there, maybe next week when the hormones calm down I'll be ready for that picture!
My puppy is growing up
My little girl is becoming such a big girl. We've been working with puppy since we got back from the honeymoon on letting her have more freedom in the house. I must say she is passing with flying colors. She's hyper and crazy, but adorable and trustworthy at the same time. Sure she jumps up and plays with us, but when left alone she mostly just sleeps on the couch. She's allowed on all the furniture except the bed. So the couch is good.
When I'm working she politely comes in and noses my knee when she wants to go out... or she paws the doors. I'm still working on breaking that one. Pawing the glass sliding door in the winter is not a problem... the screen door does not stand up as well though in the summer. Of course I've had a couple phone conversations interrupted with a barking dog, but for the most part they were work people who I don't have to worry about! =)
I can't believe that after all these months of watching and worrying my little puppy is finally house broken. She even sleeps all night on her own in her own bed. If I think about it tonight I'll try to get a picture. She's so cute all curled up in her bed with her blankie. Heck, usually she's the last one out of bed in the morning. I guess the teenage years have begun! She's sleeping late and would rather do her own thing than hang out with mom and dad. haha Well, she still does like a good cuddle in the evening before bed.. so maybe we are just in the early pre-teen. There is still a bit of my little puppy in her! Thank god!
When I'm working she politely comes in and noses my knee when she wants to go out... or she paws the doors. I'm still working on breaking that one. Pawing the glass sliding door in the winter is not a problem... the screen door does not stand up as well though in the summer. Of course I've had a couple phone conversations interrupted with a barking dog, but for the most part they were work people who I don't have to worry about! =)
I can't believe that after all these months of watching and worrying my little puppy is finally house broken. She even sleeps all night on her own in her own bed. If I think about it tonight I'll try to get a picture. She's so cute all curled up in her bed with her blankie. Heck, usually she's the last one out of bed in the morning. I guess the teenage years have begun! She's sleeping late and would rather do her own thing than hang out with mom and dad. haha Well, she still does like a good cuddle in the evening before bed.. so maybe we are just in the early pre-teen. There is still a bit of my little puppy in her! Thank god!
Birthday Suprise for my hubby
A few years ago my mom gave me a nice watch. I loved this watch. One of those Citizen Eco drives. It never needs a battery. All broken in and I'm use to the profile. I'm clumsy, so watched take a beating with me. This watch has held up wonderfully.
I could not find the watch after the move from LA. The watch I love. I have been so bummed about losing, but figured I would not really freak out until I had actually unpacked everything.
I finally got the dresser cleaned off this morning and found my watch.. in my jewelry box, which is funny because both me and hubby looking in there. I triumphantly go out to the living room to tell hubby I had finally found my watch. He gives me a funny look and finally says, damn. The poor guy had gone shopping last night for my birthday present. He bought me the same watch for a replacement. I was laughing and told him we can return the new one. He said it was not fair though because he won't get the bonus points now for being such a good and thoughtful husband. I told him he still gets the bonus points. Besides, I've been saying all along I would find the watch as soon as I bought a new one! heehee
Although now the poor guy feels like he has to start all over again with the b-day gift for me. I keep telling him not to worry but I know he will until he finds another perfect gift.... I am a pretty lucky girl sometimes!
I could not find the watch after the move from LA. The watch I love. I have been so bummed about losing, but figured I would not really freak out until I had actually unpacked everything.
I finally got the dresser cleaned off this morning and found my watch.. in my jewelry box, which is funny because both me and hubby looking in there. I triumphantly go out to the living room to tell hubby I had finally found my watch. He gives me a funny look and finally says, damn. The poor guy had gone shopping last night for my birthday present. He bought me the same watch for a replacement. I was laughing and told him we can return the new one. He said it was not fair though because he won't get the bonus points now for being such a good and thoughtful husband. I told him he still gets the bonus points. Besides, I've been saying all along I would find the watch as soon as I bought a new one! heehee
Although now the poor guy feels like he has to start all over again with the b-day gift for me. I keep telling him not to worry but I know he will until he finds another perfect gift.... I am a pretty lucky girl sometimes!
Cookie baking night
Its my twin sister's and her husband's birthday next week. Since my brother-in-law loves treats of any kind, I decided to send some chocolate chip cookies his way. Its been a long week. I'm still trying to get settled in. I was suppose to bake them on wednesday, which got pushed back to thursday... considering our b-day is on monday, my sister's gift is going to be late. At least my bro-in-law might still get his on time! =)
The cookies turned out pretty good. I finally got to use some of the new baking gear from my shower and wedding. Most is pretty good. I have to say though the cookie scoop from Martha Stewart sucks. Normally I trust Martha's products. Say what you will about her, but her perfectionist ways usually translate to pretty good quality crap that she sells. I must say the cookie scoop does not live up to my standards... and I would be willing to bet my standards are way less than Martha's would be if she actually used the cookie scoop she is selling. It kept getting stuck and would not clear out the cookie dough.
So next time you are baking cookies, don't fall for the popular opinion that seems to be all over the place today. Homemade cookies are suppose to be irregular and imperfect. If you want perfectly sized and uniform cookies, just get the chips ahoys! =)
So I ditched the scoop. 5 of the cookies in my picture are my old fashion style of just using a spoon from my normal silver wear. Can you pick them out? I bet they will be the best tasting ones too!
Time Flies...
Oh my goodness, I can't believe its been almost a month since my last post. Then again, it has been quite the month.
My sweetie, although still sweet, is now also my husband. It still makes me giggle to call him that. He of course calls me his old lady. I don't think he has even once said wife to me. Its his term of endearment... I try not to focus on the old part! haha
The wedding was wonderful. Crazy before hand, but once we got to the big event I just put everything in auto pilot and left it up to my attendants. Apparently making the boys get to the hall early was a good idea. They were the ones who ran around and got all the center pieces and candles taken care of. =)
Everyone kept saying what a great party it was. I was happy. I was so worried no one would enjoy themselves. The weather was great, our vows ( which took more than a few days and some fights ) were a huge hit, the food was awesome, the DJ rocked, and the hall was beautiful. I really could not ask for a better day. I promise to post some pictures at some time. I'm still trying to get back into this real world thing!
The honeymoon was just as cool too. We spent a week in Hawaii. Four days bouncing around Maui and 3 days on Oahu. It was so nice to not have anything to do but enjoy ourselves. Seriously, it was relaxing and funny. I'll have to fill you all in on our hotel choices and recommendations in the next few days.
Unfortunately, while hubby and I were enjoying paradise, my Aunt passed away. She has been battling Pancreatic Cancer for some time now. The Drs told her the day before my sister's wedding in June that there was nothing else they could do. I was hoping for some more time, so that she could at least enjoy my wedding, but I suppose that was not in the cards. I take comfort in the fact that she went fairly quick and her suffering is now over. I was pretty sheltered from the day to day survival my mom and grandma have been dealing with for the past few months. At least they can now try to get back to a normal life.
My aunt was a great person. She loved me and my sisters like her own. All her friends at her wake knew us and all our stories. She will be missed terribly. Every year for thanksgiving, the woman baked at least 30 pumpkin pies. She was the pumpkin pie lady.... as we get closer to Turkey day... I'll dig out her recipe and share it. I promise!
So now I am back to reality. Trying to still get the new house unpacked, get caught up with 2 weeks worth of missed work, remembering to use my new name, and train my poor puppy to re-learn her invisible fence boundaries. I thought life was suppose to slow down now that the wedding was done! Someone forgot to tell the powers that be who are responsible for sending stuff my way! I could still use a vacation... maybe no more life changing events until after the holiday... please?
My sweetie, although still sweet, is now also my husband. It still makes me giggle to call him that. He of course calls me his old lady. I don't think he has even once said wife to me. Its his term of endearment... I try not to focus on the old part! haha
The wedding was wonderful. Crazy before hand, but once we got to the big event I just put everything in auto pilot and left it up to my attendants. Apparently making the boys get to the hall early was a good idea. They were the ones who ran around and got all the center pieces and candles taken care of. =)
Everyone kept saying what a great party it was. I was happy. I was so worried no one would enjoy themselves. The weather was great, our vows ( which took more than a few days and some fights ) were a huge hit, the food was awesome, the DJ rocked, and the hall was beautiful. I really could not ask for a better day. I promise to post some pictures at some time. I'm still trying to get back into this real world thing!
The honeymoon was just as cool too. We spent a week in Hawaii. Four days bouncing around Maui and 3 days on Oahu. It was so nice to not have anything to do but enjoy ourselves. Seriously, it was relaxing and funny. I'll have to fill you all in on our hotel choices and recommendations in the next few days.
Unfortunately, while hubby and I were enjoying paradise, my Aunt passed away. She has been battling Pancreatic Cancer for some time now. The Drs told her the day before my sister's wedding in June that there was nothing else they could do. I was hoping for some more time, so that she could at least enjoy my wedding, but I suppose that was not in the cards. I take comfort in the fact that she went fairly quick and her suffering is now over. I was pretty sheltered from the day to day survival my mom and grandma have been dealing with for the past few months. At least they can now try to get back to a normal life.
My aunt was a great person. She loved me and my sisters like her own. All her friends at her wake knew us and all our stories. She will be missed terribly. Every year for thanksgiving, the woman baked at least 30 pumpkin pies. She was the pumpkin pie lady.... as we get closer to Turkey day... I'll dig out her recipe and share it. I promise!
So now I am back to reality. Trying to still get the new house unpacked, get caught up with 2 weeks worth of missed work, remembering to use my new name, and train my poor puppy to re-learn her invisible fence boundaries. I thought life was suppose to slow down now that the wedding was done! Someone forgot to tell the powers that be who are responsible for sending stuff my way! I could still use a vacation... maybe no more life changing events until after the holiday... please?
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