Man I am all over the place today. Part of me wants to cry, part wants to dance, part is anxious, and another part can't wait for the next thing. My hormones being all over the place this week too probably is not helping.
Last night I got a hair cut. Well, really I got them all cut. hardee-ha-ha I had a lot cut off. No more safe and simple ponytail for me. No more taking comfort in the fact that even for dress up days I can make a fancy ponytail. My hair with all its imperfections are out there for the world to see. This is actually quite a big deal for me. For the first time in years I am determined to accept my hair and go with it. So it flips out and curls goofy. So its thick and full and never lays symmetrically on my head. One side will curl under and the other will flip out. SO BE IT! Here I am world with my crazy imperfect hair!
I have to say I do like the cut. I'm still getting use to the styling of it... but today I just washed and let it air dry.. which it actually did. The long hair would only reach full dryness sometime while I slept that night, after washing it in the morning mind you....
Although at the same time that I am loving the new freedom of just letting my hair be and not trying to always have perfect hair... I am also missing that ponytail. I miss having it to play with. I miss the idea of being able to do so much more with my hair.. but telling myself I was just choosing not to. I miss my hair. Its kind of weird, but I guess its just the simple truth.
I suppose I will try to remind my self why I was so ready to chop it off... the knots in it, the constant shedding all over my house ( I swear there is more of my hair than dog fur on my couch ), the bulk of it always being every where.. and of course that god forsaken boring ass ponytail!
Ok, missing it a little less. I like the new freedom and I have faith I will even grow to appreciate the crazy imperfect curls. Although I suppose I have more work. I must confess that I tried to take a couple "self portraits" but thought my hair was a disaster area and I looked like crap in all of them.... still working on accepting that wonderfully not perfect life thing.... its getting there, maybe next week when the hormones calm down I'll be ready for that picture!
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