Today was a hard day. I have good ones and bad ones. thankfully my depression is extremely mild, so my bad days are still pretty functioning. I almost feel guilty claiming depression... but then I think that is more a cause then true feeling. It leads back to that perfectionist. I'm not really depressed, I'm just not working hard enough at being perfectly happy all the time. Its an ugly loop I get stuck on.
In any case, today was a tough one. I slept bad last night with odd dreams stressing me out and then woke up on the wrong side of the bed and really just slid down hill most of the day.
At least the evening ended better. I kept at it and not only just survived, but actually feel a little better. I'm tired though, more tired than I should be for the amount of stuff I did today... which was pretty much just try not to cry most of the day. Its amazing how exhausting that can be.
I'm actually looking forward to Monday. At least my routine is easier to stick to and work, as dull as it is, keeps my mind off of all the self destructive negative thoughts for 7.5 hours or so!
No comments:
Post a Comment